Category Archives: Coaching

Help people learn by experience

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Experience is a wonderful teacher. If you’ve ever tried to convince someone of something by using your gift of gab, you know what I mean. It’s hard to talk people into changing their minds.

Once people have experienced something for themselves, they don’t just believe it. They are true believers and are more likely to want (even need) to share it with others. It is nearly impossible to talk someone out of a belief they’ve gained through personal experience.

Helping people learn through experience takes some setup. Imagine that you want to convince people to change the way they do something at work. If the change is significant, you need to give them some insight and perspective before you say, “Do it this way now!”  How do you set the stage for people learning through experience?

1. Frame and message the idea. Put it into context, help people understand how it applies to them and stress why it matters. “Customers have been concerned that our response to complaints is slow. We are going to change processes to stay competitive.”

2. Share and compare. Ask people to share what they already know on the topic. Build on this information and clarify any points of confusion. “Here’s the current process for prioritizing complaints… What has been your experience? What has worked and what hasn’t?”

3. Test and explore. Tap into people’s previous experiences (“When has this happened to you?”) or predictions (“What would happen if…?“). People begin to think critically about the issue and understand it on a more personal level. “Have you used a matrix to prioritize complaints before? What unexpected consequences might we experience?”

4. Do and learn. Finally, help the person to experience the situation for herself; at this stage, experience becomes a shared understanding. “Let’s try the matrix for an hour with real issues. We’ll share our thoughts and suggestions afterwards.”

Even with the best preparation and explanation, it is only through experience that we can achieve profound insights and deep understanding. When a new idea is explained, tested and adapted in real life, enthusiasm and confidence soar. If you’re struggling with a problem, gain clarity through direct experience. As Leonardo da Vinci said, “Wisdom is the daughter of experience.”

 

Want to set people up for great learning experiences? Contact Humanergy for help.

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Is it worth coaching someone in job jeopardy?

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Coaching is a substantial investment that is generally offered to high potential leaders. So when is it worth the cost to coach someone who is in job jeopardy?

Whether you hire a coach or do the work with internal resources, coaching is not to be entered into lightly. While it is generally best to focus scarce resources on top performers, there are circumstances where coaching those in job jeopardy pays off.

The number one rule of thumb is to focus on performers with a single derailer that can be fixed. (Think of the person who continually falls over. Teach him to tie his shoes, and the problem is solved.)

Examples of fixable derailers that warrant an investment in coaching:

  • Having a hard time adjusting to a recent change in the organization
  • Difficulty dealing with a particular type of person or situation
  • A bad habit that the person is committed to changing

While overcoming a potentially fatal flaw is difficult, Joe Folkman advises several steps in his recent blog post, including acceptance, gaining a better understanding the issue and creating a plan for improvement. A coach can be a valuable resource at each of the steps outlined by Folkman.

Why go to the trouble to coach any struggling employee? First, it is absolutely cost-effective to retain your people when you consider the time and money involved in the termination and hiring processes. The organization also retains their knowledge, experience and connections with others. And the best outcome is you stand to gain an exceptionally dedicated, motivated employee who appreciates the investment. 

 

Need to focus your coaching resources? Contact Humanergy.

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Supercharge your mentoring

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There are mentors, and then there are people who step up in a more intentional way to make a profound, lasting impact on our lives.

Lou is one of those people for me. I was a 22-year old graduate student working full-time in student services. I was green (not in an environmental way) and somewhat sheltered.

Lou was a colleague in the department, and for whatever reason, she took it upon herself to help me out. How did she step out of the bounds of mentorship into a game-changing relationship that catapulted my growth?

Her intent was pure. Sure, my doe-eyed perspective sometimes irritated Lou. But I always knew that underneath her gruff exterior, her goal was to help me, always. She had no hidden agenda, and she didn’t even get too invested in whether I took her advice or not. She offered it freely with no strings attached.

She gave it to me straight. Direct isn’t the right word. Lou was “in-your-face,” blunt, often profane and unapologetic. She didn’t just NOT beat around the bush. She never saw the bush in the first place. The payoff for me? I never had to figure out what she meant…it was crystal clear.

Lou pursued my growth, even when I didn’t want to listen. In spite of my inexperience, I thought I had certain things figured out. Lou took the risk to teach me life lessons that I needed to hear, and she managed to break through my naivete. Typical conversations of this type started with, “Listen, I am going to share some stuff I wish someone had told me.”

Lou was imperfect and self-aware. I learned as much from what Lou did badly as I did from her positive example. The ultimate lesson was that I didn’t have to be perfect. I just had to be honest with myself and others and then commit to getting better every day.

It was reciprocal. Over time, I had an impact on Lou as well. She valued my insights and ideas, and our relationship evolved to that of colleagues who supported and challenged one another.

Lou’s lessons have stuck with me for over 30 years, and I see now how her purposeful influence was a central catalyst for my professional growth. While unorthodox, her style was uniquely “Lou” and just what I needed at that time in my career.

How can you shake off the confines of the traditional mentor role and be that enriching person for someone? You’ll change their life and probably yours as well.

 

Contact Humanergy to find out more about coaching and mentoring.

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Is bad always stronger than good? Feeding strengths versus eliminating weaknesses

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A recent post by Robert Sutton of Stanford University for Harvard Business Review has a provocative title, “Bad is Stronger Than Good: Evidence-Based Advice for Bosses.” The title and some of the introductory paragraphs might give you the impression that you should focus your time on what your people are doing wrong. In fact, the article contains two main takeaways:

1. In spite of making global statements, like “It’s more important to eliminate the negative,” he doesn’t mean eliminating the challenges/weaknesses that people present. He is talking about eliminating the bad apples, people who are toxic forces within the organization. Many leadership experts would agree, including Steve Tobak, who blogged on 7 Toxic Coworkers You Have to Avoid.

2.  The research quoted is related to negative experiences, people and information have a deeper impact than positive ones. Since the examples quoted are all based on romantic relationships, the applicability to work is unclear. However, it does seem logical that if bad interactions outnumber good ones, a work relationship would probably be doomed as well.

But what does this blog have to do with the average, hard-working Joe or Josephine at work? If they’re not the chronically negative and annoying types, probably not much.

What more commonly plagues many leaders is not what to do with the obviously bad apples, but how to maximize the potential of average apples with good potential and a few rough spots. While it may be distasteful and require some gumption, eliminating the bad guys is cleaner and easier than cultivating the garden-variety worker to achieve her best. That’s where the real work of leadership begins.

So how do you “polish the everyday apples” so that their innate qualities translate into excellent performance?

Set and enforce high standards. People will respond to the challenge if you establish high standards for integrity and performance. Make it plain which attitudes and behaviors are expected, and which are not to be tolerated. You’re all responsible for this pie, and every single apple has to contribute positively, even you.

Align people’s talents and enthusiasm with the job. People should be given an opportunity to do something at which they can excel. This may mean cobbling a couple of jobs together or customizing a role or project. That might seem like you’re bending too far to suit each person. In actuality, you are doing yourself and the organization a big favor. When your people are putting their abilities to best use, they bring their whole selves to work – their passion, drive and creativity. Major juice for your organizational pie!

Feed what’s working. Yes, you need to weed out any behaviors and attitudes that are detrimental to success. But most of your time should be spent pointing out what’s going well and how it supports the needs of the organization. You might also need to introduce (“seed”) new best practices. For practical tips to keep the right balance, check out our blog on feed, need, seed and weed.

Do your part of the job. It’s pretty simple. It’s about your people and how well you are able to remove barriers to their success. If that bad apple’s getting in the way, deal with it. If someone has a flaw that interferes with performance, support him to either correct it or mitigate its effects. If the flaw is yours, figure out what you need to do to manage your own imperfections.

In the words of the immortal George Jackson, as sung by the Osmond brothers, “One bad apple don’t spoil the whole bunch, girl.” Or guy. Yes, the bad apples need to go. But bad isn’t stronger than good. We need to devote our time to what really works – on what’s right with the rest of the bunch, in order to make a practically perfect pie…or organization.

Have a question or want some input from Humanergy about this topic? Contact us and we’ll get right back to you!


Lead like Mr. Rogers

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In an era of disillusionment with high-flying, big-talking leaders, maybe it’s time to find new models. Like Fred Rogers of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, a PBS series that was targeted to preschool children. Though Fred Rogers passed away a few years ago, his legacy includes teaching kids (and parents who also watched) some fundamental leadership lessons.

Adjust your approach. Some adults find Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood to be slow and boring. That’s because the show is geared to the way children learn, not the adults sitting next to them on the sofa. Likewise, leaders must adjust their approach to suit the particular needs of the people they’re working with. Some of your team members may need very little direction and few check-ins. Others require more background information and time talking through not only what they’re doing, but how they need to do it. One-size leadership doesn’t fit all.

Don’t ignore difficult topics. Mr. Rogers tackled divorce, cancer, death and other topics that children encounter and adults find challenging to talk about. He dealt with these sensitive topics honestly and gently. If one of your direct reports has an issue, don’t side-step it. Ask open-ended questions and monitor your reaction, both verbal and nonverbal. The goal is that the conversation remains open and respectful. This is the only path to the root of the problem.

Really be with people. Fred Rogers had an uncanny ability to connect with kids, even though he did so through a TV screen. At the beginning of each episode, Mr. Rogers entered the house, took off his jacket and shoes and put on his signature cardigan sweater and slippers. He then sat down, made eye contact and smiled. These were the cues that he was ready to talk and listen. Give your people visible signs that you are fully present. Sit quietly, lean forward and relax. Remember that the most effective leaders are not the loud and flashy ones. They are the people who convey the sense that listening to you is the most important thing they could be doing at that particular moment.

Help people tap what’s within them. Mr. Rogers didn’t just tell kids they were special; he helped them draw from within to learn how to manage their feelings and interact with their world. He understood that rules were far less important than self-control and self-discipline. When teaching new information, Fred always started from a place of strength. He first shared what kids already knew about a topic, and then added new information. Be strength-based in all of your interactions – whether it’s onboarding a new team member, talking about a performance issue or mentoring a person up the career ladder.

Fred Rogers left this world with awards and accolades for his work on behalf of children. Yet he remained grounded in what was truly important, saying, “It’s not the honors and the prizes and the fancy outsides of life which ultimately nourish our souls. It’s the knowing that we can be trusted, that we never have to fear the truth, that the bedrock of our very being is good stuff.” Today, spend some time finding your good stuff and help others do the same.

Don’t know about Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, or want to re-watch your favorites? Go to pbs.org to watch 26 full-length classic episodes.

Have a question or want some input from Humanergy about this topic? Contact us and we’ll get right back to you!


Golf school, Take 2

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You may remember an earlier post about  coaching lessons I learned at golf school in May. I was filled with optimism and sported my new golf clubs with pride, certain I was going to make great strides in my game. That happened, sort of. My game improved, as did my enjoyment. I spent a lot less time wondering why in the heck I took this game up in the first place.

However many of the lessons didn’t stick. While I was generally driving and putting better, my fairway shots were stinky, and if I chipped well on one hole, I couldn’t repeat that feat on the next. So I decided to get a refresher by attending a one-day school in July. Here are some of my insights:

Use the tools. Throughout the three-day school in May, we were taped from a variety of angles. It was used to illustrate progress, and point out areas that needed improvement. It was pretty slick, because they contrasted my swing with best practice, and I could see exactly how each element affected my overall swing. They sent a DVD to each participant after the class, in addition to giving us a helpful booklet with guidance and illustrations for every aspect of the game. I got the DVD in the mail and immediately broke out in a cold sweat. I let anxiety about seeing myself from every angle (“What a fat behind!”) get in the way of learning how I could improve. The lesson learned is that when your coach gives you a tool to use, get over yourself and use it. It might be that book that doesn’t grab you right away. It might be a best practice that seems awkward at first. It might be looking at your big behind on a DVD. Do it anyway.

It takes time to build muscle memory. I attended the one-day school with my husband, who is even more of a beginning golfer than me. He was eager to learn, absorbed everything and got a lot out of that day of coaching. Meanwhile I fell into the trap of thinking I should know how to do some of (or even lots of) this already. In fact, I had to force myself to pay attention to the position of the head of the club during my backswing. I figured I knew that by now. Wrong. I wasn’t being patient enough or practicing nearly enough to develop an ingrained knowledge of what to do. Doing it a few times is not enough to embed the learning. So be patient with yourself and be realistic about how truly skilled you are when learning something new. Practice, practice, practice.

Deal with your feelings. I admit it. I got very frustrated at my second golf school. For most of the day, there was little I could do right, or do right more than once in a row. At least that’s how it felt. At first, I didn’t admit to myself that I was getting irritated, and that only made things worse. The lesson here is that you will have a variety of feelings when you’re learning something new. The first step to dealing with your feelings is recognizing them. Then create an action plan to address them. In my case, I finally acknowledged my anxiety and reminded myself that just because I’m not putting it all together today doesn’t mean I won’t do it tomorrow. And I did – I played much, much better in the ensuing days.

Get lots of help. One of the best aspects of golf school, rounds 1 and 2, is that now I have two people who can give me feedback. They are familiar with the terminology, because both my husband and my friend learned it too. We speak the same language.Find someone to share in your journey – someone who is in a position to observe you and give you feedback on what is going well and how you can still improve. That partnership is an excellent addition, even if you have a coach helping you already.

I’ve been humbled by golf. More to the point, I’ve been humbled by the self-imposed barriers I’ve put up to learning something new. There is a right way to swing a golf club, and I remain determined to master it. I don’t want to be like those other humans that Douglas Adams, the author of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, referred to when he said:

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experiences of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.”

Have a question or want some input from Humanergy about this topic? Contact us and we’ll get right back to you!


Coaching lessons from golf school

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My recent experience at golf school illustrated how frustrating and exhilarating it can be to learn something new. In fact, an anonymous but wise person said, Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.

What lessons were learned that will help all of us to be better coaches and learners, regardless of the subject matter? For coaches:

Fundamentals, fundamentals, fundamentals. The golf pro spent 99% of the allotted time on the basic building blocks for a good swing. It wasn’t just on the driving range. Every time we had a club in our hands, she connected the dots between the current focus and the swing fundamentals.  As we built a good short shot, we also improved on our drives, and vice versa.  Whether you’re teaching someone how to sell widgets or service a machine, define the fundamentals and keep them front and center.

Stay true to what works. The golf pro was immovable when it came to the fundamentals of a good swing, no matter how many times she heard, “Well, what works for me is…” If there are tried and true best practices, stick to those and don’t compromise.

Communicate in a way that works for the learner. The golf pro used multiple means of communication, including verbal instructions, physical demonstration, video reviews and an illustrated manual. She adapted her methods to suit the needs of her students, like when her “80% angle” reference caused us all to stare blankly. She quickly understood that we didn’t get the spatial relations talk, but responded well when she said things like, “keep your head steady, rotate at the waist and straighten your left arm.” A good coach learns to communicate in many different ways – not just in the way in which he or she is most comfortable.

Break complicated stuff into manageable bits. Instead of tackling the whole swing, I spent hours working on bringing the club back to shoulder level correctly. Once my brain and body were coordinating this move well, I was able to incorporate other swing elements. Remember that people can’t keep numerous steps in their head all at once. Mastery of each component part builds muscle memory, increases confidence and sets the stage for overall success.

Use cycles of show, imitate, rectify. The pro would model the correct behavior, we would try to imitate her, and she then provided us with constructive feedback. The cycle was repeated over and over, until we were able to imitate the desired results fluidly.

Think you’re ready to be coached? A successful learning experience requires both a great coach, and a learner with the right motivation and attitude. For learners:

Align with your coach on goals. Some people came to golf school thinking that their game was great and only needed a few tweaks. The pro helped each person become more realistic about their current performance and set goals for improvement. In any coaching situation, be open to the fact that you may have more to learn than you previously thought.

Be a sponge, not a filter. In many ways, the novices at golf school got it right. They kept their mouths shut and their eyes and ears open. They didn’t waste time debating the merits of one grip or another. They took in as much information as possible, and readily tried new things. The result? Fewer tragedies and many more miracles. If you’re learning something new, try not to screen suggestions through the lens of your past experience. You don’t know what you don’t know.

Practice perfectly. Yes, it was mind-numbing to repeatedly practice the correct back swing. Contrary to popular belief, practice does not make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect. It is only through doing things right that you develop a habit of excellent performance. The amazing thing is, according to Gary Player, the more you practice, the luckier you get.

The most valuable lesson from golf school? Golf, like any skill, is not about executing the right physical movements. It is largely played in our minds. Success is dependent upon having the right attitude as well as skill set. My attitude? Focus, relish the occasional miracle of a stellar shot and remember to have fun along the way.

Have a question or want some input from Humanergy about this topic? Contact us and we’ll get right back to you!


To 360 or not to 360

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A recent Business Week article advocated that the 360 degree assessment should be a thing of the past. Typically, the 360 evaluation includes peers, direct reports and others giving feedback anonymously, all using the same assessment tool. Scores for each group are averaged, so that the person being assessed only knows the collective perspectives,  and any written comments are anonymous.

The author’s premise is that the anonymous evaluation tool is a cop-out, and that people ought to feel comfortable giving open feedback on an ongoing basis. Yes, in a perfect world, they should. In our less-than-perfect reality, however, people don’t always tell each other the unvarnished truth. For individuals who fear conflict, frank feedback is difficult to give. This is just one good reason to keep 360 assessments in your arsenal.

Why do a 360 assessment?

360 evaluations provide a snapshot. If you’re ready to take your leadership to the next level, you need to understand how others perceive you now, what strengths you have and the opportunities for growth. It’s hard to get this much well-rounded information without polling a number of people with very different perspectives.

You probably don’t hear all the feedback you need to hear. Even if you’re a nice person, some people just won’t give you negative feedback. This is particularly true if you are in a position of power. An anonymous feedback mechanism may be the only way to make sure you hear everything you need to know about your performance.

What else should you consider when doing a 360?

Choose the right raters. Include people who know your work well; don’t eliminate people who you suspect may not be fans. A diverse group will give you better insight into your performance and how it’s perceived. Typically, in  a 360, you will group raters together, and their responses will be averaged; carefully consider how to group people to achieve a better understanding of varying perspectives.

Ask raters appropriately. Ask raters to give you feedback – in person if you can. Never assume that someone will be willing to take the time – 360 feedback requires an investment of at least 30 minutes and probably more if they are doing a thorough job. When you ask for feedback, review confidentiality and encourage people to be fully honest.

Get a coach before your 360. You may be self-aware and motivated to use the feedback wisely. Even so, an unbiased, supportive and challenging coach will help you understand the feedback more thoroughly and process your reaction to it. Your coach will also ensure that you focus your efforts on the right actions that bring the best results and impact – a bigger payoff for your time invested.

Is a 360 a developmental tool or a means of performance appraisal? 360 evaluations have been used for both, but proceed with caution if you’re using a 360 as part of performance appraisal. The dynamics change when the feedback will impact a person’s raise or promotion. We find that using 360 evaluations in the context of development is the best use of the tool and allows raters to contribute meaningfully to a person’s continued growth.

What if your company can’t afford a 360? Do what you can to encourage open feedback. Ask for it regularly and  seek out a number of perspectives. Above all, don’t try to mask your feelings about feedback with a terse “thanks.” If you’re struggling to accept criticism, say so calmly and let the person know that you are still processing. As you put together your improvement plan, keep people informed about your goals, actions and how they can help.

If you’re resistant to feedback or don’t want to change, skip the 360. Do some rigorous self-assessing about your readiness before you engage in the process. It’s true that the only person you can really change is you, but that only works when you’re prepared to hear the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Have a question or want some input from Humanergy about this topic? Contact us and we’ll get right back to you!


Coaching: Four essential elements

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cornfieldWhat is coaching? A clear definition is a necessary foundation for success – whether you’re coaching a group of 8-year-old soccer players or a business executive.

Humanergy views coaching as a dialogue that promotes success and development. Coaching is a dialogue because it relies upon the interplay between the coach and coachee. Sorry, no super hero coaches flying in to save the day. But a skilled coach does guide others to produce fantastic results – new/better thinking and behavior and outstanding performance.

What are the essential elements of successful coaching?

Feed. Feed the person with authentic respect and value of their perspective. Feed the strengths by:

  • recognizing successes
  • understanding the mechanics of success (the specific thinking and behaviors that produce it)
  • reinforcing desired practices

Need. Identify the need for improved impact, results and performance. What’s the gap between current impact, results and performance and what is desired or required?

Seed. Seed performance with improved practices. Work with the coachee to grow new thinking and behavior.

Weed. Weed out limiting practices when they are resistant or dangerous. Some thinking and behavior are counter-productive. Develop a plan to eliminate practices that hinder progress and replace them with newly-seeded best practices.

Together, these 4 essential elements are a winning combination for coaching success. If you’re being coached, make sure that all 4 aspects are being covered. If you’re the coach, don’t leave out any of these critical components. After all, coaching is a partnership with mutual responsibility to ensure that feed, need, seed and weed all happen. Agreed?

Have a question or want some input from Humanergy about this topic? Contact us and we’ll get right back to you!


Delegation done right

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sign-hereDelegation isn’t just about giving someone else something from your task list (as tempting as that may be). Delegation is really an agreement between two parties, both of whom have responsibilities to uphold.

You might not use a formal contract, but there must be mutual understanding around what is expected. What do you need to define in order to make delegation successful?

What is the expected impact? What effect will this work have on the team and/or the organization?

What results are expected? What key indicators will define success? What will be different once the work is done?

What boundaries on the work might exist? Who should be involved? What should be communicated to whom and how often? Are there other parameters (“do this, not that”) regarding how the work should be performed?

What are our mutual responsibilities post-delegation? What information will be shared? How often and by what means will we communicate? How will assistance and support be sought and given?

Delegation requires an investment of time in exploring and documenting these key points. And delegating does not always mean giving away 100% of the responsibility and accountability.

So what are the delegation payoffs? You can focus on the stuff that only you can do. The person delegated to gains experience and skill. The organization accomplishes X. And they all live happily ever after.

Have a question or want some input from Humanergy about this topic? Contact us and we’ll get right back to you!