Archive for the ‘Mutual Understanding’ Category

Winning hearts and minds

Tuesday, August 10th, 2010

Although typically thought of as a military strategy, leaders in other organizations must also win the hearts and minds of their people. The reality is that if you lose your people’s hearts and minds, then you will have lost their passionate engagement in the organization. They may still show up, but they will not devote their full emotional and physical energy to the job at hand. How do you win hearts and minds?

Speak directly. Like Voice of America, the U.S. government-funded radio broadcasts during the Cold War, you need a direct way of communicating with the organization’s people. Not all messages need to come directly from the top leaders, however mission-critical communications must. Use email or telecommunication to make it more feasible.

Make your message clear. Think about the one or two take-aways you want people to remember. Then plan carefully to ensure that your message is unmistakable. Use plain language, and keep it brief. If people need to take action, make the next steps unambiguous.

Challenge disinformation. You may not encounter an active counterinsurgency, but rumors and misinformation are probably inevitable. Don’t wait for rumors to die out on their own. Address  inaccuracies and falsehoods that surface, so that people don’t get distracted or confused.

No platitudes. In the end, hearts and minds are won by what you do, not what you say.  Listen. Provide a balance of challenge and support. Share decision-making. Encourage innovation. All of these efforts make a real difference in people’s work lives and build loyalty, engagement and satisfaction.

Don’t rely on charisma. Personal charm is important, but not sufficient. Humility, integrity and honesty are the foundational keys to keeping people on board for the long haul.

You may not be waging a war, but you do need to attend to the hearts and minds of the organization’s people. The payoff? Folks who not only are dedicated to their work, they also have enthusiasm and zeal for the work that is unmatched by your competition. That’s a battle well worth winning.

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Making requests by e-mail

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010

You need others to do something. The easiest way for you to communicate this request if probably via e-mail. The caution is that e-mail presents many opportunities to mis-communicate and make your job even harder. What are the best practices for using email when making a request?

Don’t start with e-mail when it’s a sensitive issue. You can certainly email the particulars later, but start with an in-person (preferable) or telephone conversation to allow for immediate two-way communication. Face-to-face is ideal because you also share nonverbals; your body language goes a long way in communicating your message, and you can also “read” others’ nonverbals to gauge their emotions and understanding.

Use e-mail’s greatest strength to your advantage. E-mail allows you to plan your message and edit it to achieve your desired results. Sadly, few people actually exercise this advantage, as evidenced by sender’s remorse- that sinking feeling you get right after you press the SEND button for that hastily-composed message. To avoid sender’s remorse, think first about what you want to achieve, put yourself in the receivers’ shoes and organize your message strategically.

Use the subject line. Give your subject line muscle with phrases like,  “Sales report: action required” or “Input needed by 7/15/10.” This informs the reader of what is required after reading.

Keep it short. Resist the urge to give lots of details. E-mail isn’t the best way to communicate vast quantities of information. Using as few words as possible, communicate your message in a way that paints a picture that everyone can understand.

Put your request up front. Don’t allow your request to get buried in the middle of the message. Keep it in the first paragraph, or people may miss it.

Use your authentic voice. Make sure your e-mail message sounds like you, not a scripted announcement. People are more open to requests when they are genuine and reflect your personality. (Well, maybe not if they don’t like the real you, but that’s another blog topic altogether.) Ideally, if you can interject a little humor, particularly at your own expense, this offsets the coldness that some perceive when communicating by email.

Note what’s going well. Making a request for action presents an opportunity to feed the team. If it’s pertinent to the issue, mention the strides made and positives actions that will set the stage for success.

Say thanks. Thank folks in advance for getting the job done, and follow up later once it’s been accomplished.

“Diamonds are forever. E-mail comes close.” Or so says June Kronholz. Countless hours are wasted trying to undo the adverse effects of a poorly written e-mail.  The reality is that some damage might be permanent. Save yourself the trouble and do it right the first time.

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Expectation or suggestion? Clear communication with direct reports

Thursday, May 27th, 2010

Arnold is meeting with Bev, one of his direct reports. She is going over her current projects. Arnold comments that she appears to be overloaded with work that isn’t a top priority. Bev is astounded. But this is what you told me to do, she explains.

I did want you to work on projects A and D, says Arnold, but the other things on this list were just ideas I was tossing around at the staff meeting. I didn’t mean for you to act on those.

How could Arnold, as the supervisor, have aligned more effectively with Bev on what was truly important?

Define strategic priorities. You may be giving unclear direction to your direct reports because you aren’t certain about the most critical priorities. Gain clarity by discussing desired results and impact with your boss and others. Then align your direct reports’ actions with those urgent priorities.

Remember that when the boss speaks, people listen. This may seem obvious, but it’s something that is often forgotten in the excitement of the moment. The boss thinks she’s just generating some potential new ideas. Direct reports can assume that if an idea comes from her, they must make it happen.

Use clear language. Make it plain that if you are brainstorming or giving direction. You may need to say this more than once – at the beginning of the conversation and at the end – to make sure that people get the message.

Gauge people’s understanding by closing the loop. Ask people to re-state what you’ve said in their own words. If you’re not on the same page, try communicating again and have them restate their understanding once more.

Encourage people to ask questions. Some bosses are like seagulls; they “swoop and poop,”  blurting out directions and moving on to the next activity. Make time to answer any questions that your direct reports may have. Don’t just assume they’ll ask for clarification if they need it. Some people hesitate to pose questions, thinking that making an inquiry may appear less self-reliant. Set the expectation that questions are not just acceptable, but an expected part of getting on the same page.

Hold regular check-ins. Schedule time for your direct reports to meet with you to discuss progress, roadblocks or any pressing issue that impacts results. Talk with your direct reports to figure out if weekly, monthly or quarterly check-ins would be best to keep projects moving.

Clear communication is required to define the results that are to be achieved and make performance expectations clear. Achieve mutual understanding with your direct reports by regular, concise and two-way communication that keeps them focused on the right stuff and growing as individuals. Don’t assume that people interpret your communication the way you intended. Remember the wisdom of George Bernard Shaw, The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

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The dos and don’ts of communicating context

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

talk

So much of what we try to communicate with others is context – the interrelated facts, conditions and background that give our message its full meaning.

Communicating context is tricky. Sometimes we share too much detail, and our main points get lost. At other times, we try to stick to the bare bones and don’t share any of the illuminating particulars.

Some helpful dos and don’ts for communicating context:

DON’T imply. When a message is sensitive, we sometimes balk at putting it into words. Don’t dance around the issue. Communicating in a clever or indirect way ensures misunderstanding.

DO share context directly. Use plain language to lay out the facts and the necessary background or peripheral information. Even a delicate topic is best approached unambiguously.

DON’T rely on nonverbal cues to add to the message. Nonverbals can be interpreted many different ways and can change the meaning of the message received. Nonverbal cues that don’t match the words you’re using will simply confuse the listener.

DO share your feelings and expectations along with the message. Be up front about your perspective and what you want to see happen, if anything. If your communication requires an action on the listener’s part, say so.

DON’T share too much. Share the minutia only if it is necessary. Resist the urge to communicate every detail, especially if it’s just to show how much you know.

DO share enough. Ask yourself, “What would I want to know about this situation if I were Person X?”

When you think you’ve got it right – that you’ve communicated just the right amount of info – check with the listener. Ask him or her to summarize the message in their own words. You may find that what you thought was crystal clear is still foggy. In communication, as in most endeavors, practice makes perfect.

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“There must be some misunderstanding…

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

talkingThere must be some kind of mistake,” (Genesis – it was a band, for you youngsters – from their 1980 hit). Whether you’re a GenY or Baby Boomer, you’ve experienced the frustrations of misunderstandings in communication.

We often refer to miscommunication here at Humanergy as “Meet Me In Detroit.” If you wanted to get together with someone and said, “I’ll meet you in Detroit,” that wouldn’t quite work. Yet we take the same kinds of communication shortcuts all the time and assume that people will figure it out.

It can be tempting to throw in the towel – to give up on clear communication, since we mess up so often. And just vowing to do a better job next time doesn’t work. (Been there, done that.) So if we can’t wish our way into better communication, what can we do?

Change your definition of communication. The outcome you’re looking for isn’t communication, it’s mutual understanding. When Person A and Person B share the same “picture” of the message, that’s success!

Individualize. Think about the listener’s perspective before you speak. Ask, “How does she need to hear this?” or “What examples would help him understand?”

Share context. Too often we skip important background information that helps the listener truly understand. Instead of, “I need that report,” try, “The quarterly budget report is shared with management and will help us prioritize for next fiscal year.”

Make it unmistakable. Use short sentences and simple words. Make sure it’s crystal clear why you’re sharing the information. Does the listener need to act on it in some way?

Close the loop. After you’ve spoken, ask the listener to summarize what was heard in his or her own words. Don’t ask, “Did you understand?,” because no one wants to admit they don’t get it. If the listener’s summary is off, share more back and forth until you have mutual understanding.

Freeman Teague, Jr. said, “Nothing is so simple that it cannot be misunderstood.” We’d like to believe that nothing is so simple that it doesn’t warrant mutual understanding.

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Build relationships before you need them

Thursday, March 12th, 2009

paper-people-handsSue is a busy, no-nonsense leader. She doesn’t have time to (as she refers to it) chit-chat. Not a big fan of water cooler talks, Sue doesn’t actively avoid her direct reports and peers. She just doesn’t seek out interaction and prefers to talk about work, if she has to take the time to interact at all.

Sue’s not a bad person. She is a busy person. But she could be in for some bad, unanticipated outcomes (and even more busy-ness) if she doesn’t attend NOW to relationships at work.

What happens when there’s a crisis, and Sue and everyone around her need to operate at 100% effectiveness? There are glitches, because Sue hasn’t built the “relationship capital” she needs.

How do you build relationships, while keeping the focus where it needs to be – on work?

1. Think before you speak. Sounds simple, but many of us just start blabbing away, totally from our own perspective. Think about your audience and not only what they need to hear, but how they need to hear it.

2. Be courteous. It only takes a moment to make eye contact and say, “thanks for your hard work.” Or, “how was your weekend?” (and really care what the answer might be).

3. Ask questions. We get paid to know stuff, right? So, you may be surprised by how infrequently you ask questions. Ask genuine questions and listen carefully,  and you may be surprised at how much more approachable you will be.

4. Start with what you have in common. It may be your work project, but maybe it’s also a love of dogs/Russian etchings/karate.

5. Make diversity work. Take time to notice differences in culture, experience, personality, etc. Figure out what opportunities these differences present. Then planfully maximize everyone’s unique contributions.

Notice that none of these strategies involve long, deep and meaningful conversations. After all, the job’s got to get done, and we’re not talking about creating BFF relationships here. Developing amicable relationships is smart and strategic. And…it might also be fun.

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Are you a sponge or a filter?

Thursday, February 19th, 2009

ph03442iToday I’m going to be a sponge. When someone is communicating with me, I am going to soak in every nuance of the message.

What do I sometimes (usually?!) do when I’m “listening?” Continue my internal dialogue, which sounds something like this: “I really need to get some more bread on my way home. Did he just say to push back the deadline? That’s crazy?”

In other words, it’s all too easy for me to sorta kinda listen, while I use parts of my brain to attend to other business (like bread). This multi-tasking makes it impossible for me to really hear what the person is saying. I think I’m listening, but I’m not giving it my full attention.

How well can I be listening when I already have decided that the other person’s idea won’t work (a nice way of saying is crazy)? I’d like to say that I am an open-minded person, but this mid-conversation judging happens more than I’d like to admit.

So usually I’m more of a filter than a sponge. I only allow bits of the message to get through, because I attend to other things and jump too quickly to judge what’s said. And please do not ask me to pay attention to your nonverbals. Those won’t get through my filter. I’m much too busy creating a mental grocery list.

So how do I transform myself from a filter into a sponge? I thought you’d never ask.

  1. Take pride in really understanding the other person’s unique viewpoint
  2. When someone begins talking, put my other thoughts and needs on the back burner
  3. Spend far less time and energy getting my own point across (don’t talk so much)
  4. Watch body language and mention it when I’m getting cues I don’t understand (e.g., it seems like you’re upset)
  5. After careful listening, summarize what I’ve heard to make sure I got it right

I may not get it right all the time, so I’m not setting my sights on being the ultra-absorbent model. I do want to be a better communicator, and I know that for me, it starts with being a better listener.


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