Tag Archives: accountability

Identify your elephants

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Sheila and Sam have never gotten along well, and when they are assigned to a key project together, neither person is pleased. Minor tensions slowly grow into full-scale battle, and the rest of the team is uncertain about what to do. They encourage Sheila and Sam to “stay focused” and “try to get along.” Meanwhile, the task they are assigned is floundering.

In the midst of a conflict situation, we sometimes address only the symptoms and surface issues. The elephants in the room – emotional flash points – are ignored out of fear that they will result in a heated exchange, or worse, permanently damage the already-tenuous relationship.

Some of these potential flash points are past history, power differences, hidden agendas and fear of being blamed or humiliated. It can be hard to raise these issues in the conversation; NOT addressing them, however, can guarantee that you’ll be in conflict again very soon.

If you observe this dynamic at work, here are some tips about navigating these sensitive issues:

Bring in a facilitator. Someone who is not involved in the conflict may be in a better position to ask the right questions, ensure open communication and enforce ground rules.

Use “I” statements. Encourage both parties to speak from their own perspective and experience. Avoid making assumptions or accusing others of feeling a certain way.

Ask questions. Statements can have the effect of hardening positions. Try asking open-ended questions instead, like, “How does the previous project’s failure affect our interactions today?” or “What issues of power play a role in this conflict?”

Use neutral language. This may take some pre-planning. Think of the words that might inflame tensions, and how you can restate the same idea in more neutral terms. Avoid sarcasm, exaggerations, name-calling and offensive language.

One of the most difficult aspects of conflict resolution is recognizing when we are stuck, or that we have emotional “elephants” that keep us from seeing the situation differently. Remember the words of George Bernard Shaw when you need to stay open to self-awareness: “The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it.”

Need help identifying your elephants and managing conflict? Contact Humanergy.

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Great expectations

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It may seem like common sense that when a teacher expects students to excel at a certain level, the students do. Grading can be subjective, after all. It is more surprising that studies of teachers have found that students’ scores on objective IQ tests correlated with teacher expectations.

Specifically,  if teachers are told that a randomly-selected student is expected to realize a large gain in IQ, that is exactly what happens. Why? Teachers begin to treat them differently. These “expectations affect teachers’ moment-to-moment interactions with the children they teach in a thousand almost invisible ways. Teachers give the students that they expect to succeed more time to answer questions, more specific feedback, and more approval: They consistently touch, nod and smile at those kids more.”

Transferring this phenomenon to a work setting, research by Jean-Francois Manzoni and Jean-Louis Barsoux indicates that the boss is often inadvertently complicit in the failure of an employee. This dynamic begins with an early mistake, lukewarm recommendation or personality clash and is set in motion as the boss questions the employee’s competence. Under increased scrutiny by the boss, the employee loses confidence. He freezes or over-reacts. The syndrome is then in full swing, and it is no surprise when the employee fails.

Think about the people you supervise, and ask yourself these questions:

What do you expect your people to accomplish?

How does that impact your behavior and thus, their achievement?

How should you change your thinking and behavior to remove the impact of unwarranted low expectations?

Need help managing your expectations and your people’s performance? Contact Humanergy.

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Listen when you do not want to hear

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On a couple of occasions recently, I’ve been challenged to listen to feedback that I did not welcome. In one case, it was a long-term member of an organization in which I hold a volunteer leadership role. This person was upset about a number of issues, and was airing some long-held grievances.

In the second example, we got some feedback at work that something we’d done wasn’t particularly helpful. A colleague and I had to figure out how to respond, even though our first reaction was, “What could he possibly mean?!”

When an idea is hard to hear, that’s when we need to work the hardest to tune in. Yes, feedback is a gift. But if we are to be truthful, sometimes we don’t want it, or we want to “spin” it to minimize its impact and keep ourselves comfortable.

How can you respond productively when your first impulse is to dismiss it or get angry?

Just listen. Resist the urge to respond right away. Think of yourself as a sponge, absorbing the message without judgment.

Seek to understand. Again, without assessing its validity, seek to understand the issue from the other’s perspective. Ask questions with the intent of learning more and seeing the issue from another viewpoint.

See the whole picture. MindTool’s Feedback Matrix is a great tool to help you break down the feedback into what was expected/unexpected and positive/negative. While unexpected negative feedback can be difficult to process, recognize we’re all on a path of continuous improvement. So, there’s something you need to work on….that’s OK. Understand that the feedback is not an indictment of your overall performance. Keep perspective and respond appropriately.

Take a break. When you are caught off guard by feedback, sometimes it’s best to take some time before responding. Say, “Thank you for telling me. I’m trying to absorb what you’ve said. Can we get back together tomorrow?”

Consider the source. If your feedback is from someone whose intentions are not constructive, seek a second opinion from someone who can give you an unbiased evaluation. Don’t go to a friend who will match your indignation and help you feel better. You may find that the “spiteful critic’s” feedback really was a gift.

Most feedback contains at least a kernel of truth, even if you find the majority of it to be inaccurate or unfair. Make it your responsibility to find some value in the message and take action to improve.

 

Got some “ouchy” feedback and don’t know where to proceed? Contact Humanergy.

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One simple way to show you care

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I am in a meeting with someone, talking about the status of projects, next steps and responsibilities. As usual, I bring along a notepad and pen to jot down important details that I know I won’t remember. (I have given up the illusion that I am capable of remembering anything.)

The other person actively engages in the conversation and writes down nothing.

Is it just me, or is that just…wrong? I have actually told our interns that they need to take notes. I don’t care if they use paper or their phone, or if they even write something on their bodies with a pen. Just care enough (or in my case, be humble enough) to write something down.

David Wheatley, one of Humanergy’s founders, refers to this as the latest in technological devices – the iCare. Regardless of the type of technology you use, writing things down shows you care enough to track conversations and commitments. It also acknowledges the reality that for most of us, memories really don’t last forever (and rarely even an hour).

Need help tracking your commitments? Contact Humanergy.

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How to kill wisdom

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Barry Schwartz studies wisdom and gave a brilliant Ted lecture on the topic that you won’t want to miss. In case you don’t have 20 minutes to watch the whole lecture now, here are the highlights.

Leaders want to encourage certain behaviors in their employees, ones they believe will advance the organization’s mission. The goal is for people to grow in wisdom – acting based on intelligence, experience and common sense. Dr. Schwartz discusses how to promote practical wisdom, which he defines as the moral will (I want to contribute) and skill (I know how to help) to do the right things.

Using the example of hospital janitors, Dr. Schwartz outlined how people use practical wisdom to make a difference. Although their job descriptions included nothing about contact with human beings, their care for and interactions with others positively impacted patient care and outcomes. The janitors:

Ignored orders in order to help people. A janitor skipped cleaning the waiting room out of respect for sleeping visitors who had been at the hospital for days.

Improvised based on the situation. Because a parent did not see him do it the first time, one janitor re-mopped a comatose patient’s room.

Used their skills to serve others, not themselves. These janitors often added to their own workload, so that patients’ and families’ needs were met.

Leaders often create rules and incentives to increase the likelihood that people will exhibit desired behaviors. Dr. Schwartz cautions that rules keep people from making well-reasoned judgments and don’t allow improvisation in the service of what is right.

Incentives seem harmless, but they shift people’s thinking from, “What is my responsibility?” to “What is in my best interest?” In effect, activities that involve incentives have been shown to reduce morale and morality.

Rather than more rules, incentives or ethics policies, Dr. Schwartz advises us to:

Celebrate moral heroes who show practical wisdom every day.

Get to know the people in your organization in order to know how to encourage moral will and skill.

Allow people the time and give them permission to do the right thing, because moral heroes are made, not born.

Think you’ve got the right amount and types of rules and incentives? Maybe it’s time for a second look. As Dr. Schwartz says, without wisdom, brilliance can get you into trouble. Watch this Ted video now.

Need help developing practical wisdom in your organization? Contact Humanergy.

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The best way to make your customers happy

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When it comes to making your customers happy, a recent blog post from our friends at Brains on Fire said it best. “Happy employees lead to happy customers. And that “shared happy” leads to positive word of mouth.”

So, how do you increase the happiness of your employees? Steve Cooper blogged at Forbes.com about Dr. Noelle Nelson’s book, Make More Money By Making Your Employees Happy.  It turns out that what people really want is for companies to “keep promises and show compassion for their employees.”

Paul Spiegelman, author of Why is Everyone Smiling?, suggests at Inc.com:

Recognize and reward. Give accolades to people who are doing a good job by publicly recognizing what is going well.

Make room for fun. Make time for people to do something wacky or unusual.

Walk the talk. Rules, ethics and consequences apply to everyone, regardless of position.

Implementing these strategies doesn’t mean that your employees won’t face problems. Your job as a leader is to enable true happiness – the ability to effectively confront and work through the difficulties that are inevitable in any workplace.

Need to boost happiness at work? Contact Humanergy.

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You get what you schedule

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I am great at making to-do lists. Right now I have a paper list at my office, one in Outlook tasks, and two or three on scraps of paper at home, including one that’s buried in a pile of bills and paperwork that needs filing.

No surprise – my “system” is clearly not working. As my colleague David Wheatley says, you get what you schedule. He recommends that you eliminate to-do lists and just put it on the schedule.

Most people use some form of a web-based calendar, but this system works on a pencil-and-paper version too. Rather than collect multiple, independent lists that can go missing, assign tasks to time on your calendar. If you don’t do it during the allotted time, move it to a different slot.

David uses Google calendar creatively to make sure he focuses on his most important work. He starts each day with a number of calls and other work populated in the “wee hours” on his calendar. Each morning, he drags each task from it’s 2:00 a.m. holding spot into an available slot during the day. In this way, he knows what he wants to accomplish and when he will do it.

Scheduling your to-dos creates the expectation that things will get done at a certain time – a great improvement over the “do-this-maybe-sometime” lists I have been creating (and losing). Scheduling also has a built-in feedback mechanism. If you keep moving that task, is it something you’re really committed to do?

Need help with tackling the work that really needs to be done? Contact Humanergy.

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Is it worth coaching someone in job jeopardy?

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Coaching is a substantial investment that is generally offered to high potential leaders. So when is it worth the cost to coach someone who is in job jeopardy?

Whether you hire a coach or do the work with internal resources, coaching is not to be entered into lightly. While it is generally best to focus scarce resources on top performers, there are circumstances where coaching those in job jeopardy pays off.

The number one rule of thumb is to focus on performers with a single derailer that can be fixed. (Think of the person who continually falls over. Teach him to tie his shoes, and the problem is solved.)

Examples of fixable derailers that warrant an investment in coaching:

  • Having a hard time adjusting to a recent change in the organization
  • Difficulty dealing with a particular type of person or situation
  • A bad habit that the person is committed to changing

While overcoming a potentially fatal flaw is difficult, Joe Folkman advises several steps in his recent blog post, including acceptance, gaining a better understanding the issue and creating a plan for improvement. A coach can be a valuable resource at each of the steps outlined by Folkman.

Why go to the trouble to coach any struggling employee? First, it is absolutely cost-effective to retain your people when you consider the time and money involved in the termination and hiring processes. The organization also retains their knowledge, experience and connections with others. And the best outcome is you stand to gain an exceptionally dedicated, motivated employee who appreciates the investment. 

 

Need to focus your coaching resources? Contact Humanergy.

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Are you a bully boss?

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I saw these words on a t-shirt yesterday:

Humankind. Be both.

Full of warm feelings about the human family, this morning I read a Washington Post blog titled, Do jerks make better leaders? Geoffrey Nunberg concludes that jerky CEOs (he calls them A-holes) get more airtime from the media and attention in popular culture. “Every age seizes on one social miscreant to personify its deepest social anxieties,” and for the moment, it’s the bully boss.

New leaders can confuse the need for clear expectations or accountability with the need to be a jerk. I hope that everyone who reads Mr. Nunberg’s post will focus less on the Donald-Trump-like antics and more on these last two lines:

“True, every once in a while an A-word aspirant manages to percolate to the executive dining room on the strength of audacity alone. But the majority wind up seven job changes later, still in the company cafeteria, eating lunch alone.”

Bill Taylor sums up the importance of kindness (versus being smart) on Harvard Business Review’s blog:

“So by all means, encourage your people to embrace technology, get great at business analytics, and otherwise ramp up the efficiency of everything they do. But just make sure all their efficiency doesn’t come at the expense of their humanity. Small gestures can send big signals about who we are, what we care about, and why people should want to affiliate with us. It’s harder (and more important) to be kind than clever.”

Go forth and be an intelligent, demanding and nice leader!

 

Want to find better balance between kindness and accountability? Contact Humanergy

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Use influence to reel in success

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Influence allows you to impact results through your interactions with other people. Although you can’t control the outcome completely, you can increase the probability of achieving the impact you desire by how you network, communicate and find common ground with other people.

A powerful metaphor for influence is sport fishing. How is it that you can use a 50-pound line to land a 250 pound fish?

Be patient. Know where you want to end up, but manage your expectations along the way.

Be aware. Influence and manage the other people on the boat – the other people who can affect the situation.

Control yourself. Check your ego and your need to win.

Be purposeful. Be intense, but don’t make rash choices; consider the impact of your actions.

Know your fish. What are the characteristics of others involved? What choices are they making right now?

Be the fish. Don’t focus on you and your needs; get in the heads of the others involved.

Adjust as you learn. Your desired outcomes and your actions may need to change to create the right results for everyone.

Work within the parameters of the line. What are your limits and abilities? What do others want? What can they contribute?

Reel it in. Don’t ease up just because things seem to be going well. Follow through with 100% of the discipline you had when you started.

Use your influence to reel in the big fish and contribute to the greater good. Remember the words of Jackie Robinson: “A life isn’t significant except for its influence on other lives.”