Use influence to reel in success

Influence allows you to impact results through your interactions with other people. Although you can’t control the outcome completely, you can increase the probability of achieving the impact you desire by how you network, communicate and find common ground with other people.

A powerful metaphor for influence is sport fishing. How is it that you can use a 50-pound line to land a 250 pound fish?

Be patient. Know where you want to end up, but manage your expectations along the way.

Be aware. Influence and manage the other people on the boat – the other people who can affect the situation.

Control yourself. Check your ego and your need to win.

Be purposeful. Be intense, but don’t make rash choices; consider the impact of your actions.

Know your fish. What are the characteristics of others involved? What choices are they making right now?

Be the fish. Don’t focus on you and your needs; get in the heads of the others involved.

Adjust as you learn. Your desired outcomes and your actions may need to change to create the right results for everyone.

Work within the parameters of the line. What are your limits and abilities? What do others want? What can they contribute?

Reel it in. Don’t ease up just because things seem to be going well. Follow through with 100% of the discipline you had when you started.

Use your influence to reel in the big fish and contribute to the greater good. Remember the words of Jackie Robinson: “A life isn’t significant except for its influence on other lives.”

 


Darn it! Does swearing make you colorful or crude?

“Life is a four-letter word.” (Lenny Bruce)

One of the most influential memories from childhood involves my brother getting his mouth washed out with soap for uttering a swear word. I can’t recall the specific word, but I do remember the gagging, amidst promises never to repeat the offense. I was certainly careful to keep my own language G-rated in front of my mom after that disturbing event!

Truth be told, my language of late could merit some soap; and, I’m not alone. It seems that society today accepts, or at least tolerates, a certain level of profanity. When it comes to our kids and cussing, we often adopt a “do as I say, not as I do” attitude.

Is swearing at work no big deal? Or, does it mark you as a person who is not in control? I like the Evil HR Lady’s take on four-letter words in the CBS blog post called Swearing at Work. She says:

“Someone will argue that using swear words just shows who they really are; and, if you tell them to stop it, you’re suppressing their personality and creativity. I say any 13 year old can say dirty words; and, if you want to demonstrate your individuality and creativity, try saying something different.”

So why do I occasionally slip and use bad language? Sometimes I think it makes me feel better. It’s mildly cathartic. I also think it’s my way of saying, “I am really, really upset; so, pay attention!”

I wonder if I also subconsciously think letting a few expletives fly makes me more colorful and interesting – sort of the “bad girl” persona that contrasts with my solidly boring, Midwestern self. (In my own defense, I should note that I really don’t use bad language in a hurtful way – at least I certainly hope I don’t!)

All excuses aside, swearing isn’t really attractive or necessary to explain the amplitude of my feelings. It’s a lazy way to blow off some steam or be expressive. When choosing my words going forward, I vow to choose carefully. I will remember the wise words of the Evil HR Lady who said, “I have never heard anyone say, ‘Gee, I just love Bill’s foul mouth.’”

 Have needs that Humanergy can fill? contact us

Photo courtesy of istockphoto

 


Your problem is not the problem

I felt like screaming. That same old, seemingly-constant problem was back. The details aren’t important, but suffice to say, I experienced an avalanche of feelings, ranging from disbelief (AGAIN?!) to rage ($#*^@).

With time and its wonderful sidekick, perspective, I began to understand some fundamentals about recurring problems:

Sometimes they aren’t yours. Some of the most excruciating dilemmas to work through are the ones you don’t own. If you take on other people’s issues, you are destined for frustration and wasted energy. Your teenager regularly fails to do her homework. Sure, you can remind her of the consequences and offer some time management advice. But, in the end, it isn’t your battle. Ashleigh Brilliant said it best, “My biggest problem is what to do about all the things I can’t do anything about.”

Problems recur because I didn’t understand them in the first place. A team missed an important deadline, and lots of time went into figuring out what went wrong. Then they missed another milestone, requiring more discussion. After a couple of missteps, it was time to figure out the root of the problem, which turned out to be longstanding conflict between two key team members. Countless hours are wasted when we apply solutions that don’t get to the root of the problem.

Often what you perceive to be the problem is not the problem. The real predicament is how you cope with the situation. Consider these nontraditional approaches:

Sometimes it’s better to keep your problems to yourself. If you usually spout off about what’s going wrong, try keeping issues close to the vest for a while. Sometimes just talking about bad situations increases our emotional thermometers. Lou Holtz once said, “Don’t tell your problems to people. Eighty percent of them don’t care, and the other twenty percent are glad you have them.” Don’t bottle your feelings up forever; after a short respite, come up with a game plan to resolve the issue.

Don’t tweak, radically rebuild. Russell Bishop writes about the power to choose your reaction to problems, including the option of radically shifting away from old patterns of behavior. He says, “People keep trying to rebuild their lives using the rubble from whatever collapsed rather than choosing new materials instead.” Give yourself permission to shift your perspective and your choices. Seek outside input for new thinking. You aren’t stuck unless you choose to be.

Do exactly the opposite of what you’d typically do. This is a variation on the “radical rebuild.” You’ve gotten feedback (again) that you’re not a good listener. Instead of simply pledging to do better, act in ways that are the opposite of your habit and comfort zone. If you’re a talk-aholic, stop talking for a day. If you’re a directive leader, stop telling people what to do for a week and practice asking open-ended questions instead. You might freak a few people out – nothing wrong with that – and what an opportunity to learn new ways of thinking and behaving!

If you’re facing a slew of problems, it is easy to feel burdened, overwhelmed and maybe even a little sorry for yourself. You can wallow in these feelings or you can choose a new path – one that will allow you to eliminate those dilemmas, cope productively or recognize that they were never yours to own in the first place.

 

Want to tackle your problems in a different way?  Contact us.

Photo purchased at istockphoto.com


Do you make too many decisions?

Leaders take pride in being able to make well-reasoned decisions – and lots of them. A recent article in the New York Times Magazine should give all frequent decision-makers pause. It turns out that all decisions, even minor daily choices, like whether to have a bagel or a banana, contribute to decision fatigue. The more decisions you make each day, the worse at making them you are.

John Tierney writes in To Choose is to Lose, “Decision fatigue helps explain why ordinarily sensible people get angry at colleagues and families, splurge on clothes, buy junk food at the supermarket and can’t resist the dealer’s offer to rustproof their new car. No matter how rational and high-minded you try to be, you can’t make decision after decision without paying a biological price.”

That price is reduced mental energy that saps self-control, willpower, judgment and discernment – all qualities that leaders need in vast quantities. Essentially, your brain is tired, even if your body does not perceive it, and you take unconscious shortcuts in decision-making.

How can you maintain healthy decision-making and mitigate the dangers of decision fatigue?

Recognize it. Many leaders like to think that they are decision-making machines, capable of analysis and decisiveness from dawn to dusk. They do not want to admit that their capabilities can be limited by the number of decisions they make. In fact, their egos often lead them to believe that they get better and sharper as the day goes on. To be on the safe side, examine your mental energy at various times of the day. When are you most prone to act impulsively? Take steps to move critical discussions and judgments to a time of day when you’re fresh.

Feed your brain. Tired brains can be restored and decisions improved, in part, by ensuring that the brain is operating on enough glucose, the simple sugar our bodies get from a number of food sources. Keeping your blood sugar levels appropriately high will give your brain the energy it needs to consider implications, look at long-term prospects and make sound judgments. A Snickers bar might seem like the jolt your weary mind needs. However, the problem with the candy bar is the sugar low that soon follows, leaving you less capable of thinking clearly. The best solution is a balanced diet that gives you sustained energy throughout the day, to keep your mental acuity on an even plane.

Reduce the quantity of decisions. If the decision doesn’t have to be made by you, don’t do it. Whether it be what color to paint your office or where to hold a meeting, delegate decisions and let others make choices that aren’t critical for you to make.

Decide ahead of time. Lay out your clothes the night before, prep breakfast and pack your lunch for the next day. This will reserve more brain energy for today’s important decisions.

Examine some choices. Reserve the right to review your decision, particularly if you’ve made it under less-than-ideal conditions. While this isn’t always possible, sleeping on a critical determination will allow you to figure out if it still makes sense to your better-fueled brain.

Adjust implementation. Maybe the decision is the right one, but the details of implementation may have been overlooked by your fuzzy mind. The devil really can be in the details, as William Pollard noted when he said, “It is not always what we know or analyzed before we make a decision that makes it a great decision. It is what we do after we make the decision to implement and execute it that makes it a good decision.”

You can’t avoid making decisions, even if you want to, so take steps to amp up your mental energy. Frequent breaks for food and relaxation may seem like you’re slacking, but they are really fundamental success strategies. Focus on the more commonly-known decision-making best practices (latest data, trends and analysis), AND examine your brain’s energy stores to see if you are up to the task at hand.


Get real about time

A dear friend used to talk about the “elasticity” of time. That was his way of describing his cultural perspective on time, which was in stark contrast to mine. I think of time as finite and concrete. (“You’re either on time or you’re not.”) In his culture, time is more flexible and flowing. (“Late? No, it’s only 30 minutes after the start time.”)

One thing about time that is universal: People only have so much of it. It seems that many people operate as if time truly were endlessly elastic – piling more and more on their (and others’) plates. It is as if there were a contest to see who can work the most hours or take on the most responsibilities. Overcommitment is too often worn as a badge of honor.

This overcommitment can have disastrous results.

The Hard Side of Change Management, an article published by Harvard Business Review, outlines four critical factors that can make the difference between failure and success in a change process. One factor is effort – how the impact on people’s schedules is managed. It notes that adding more than 10% to people’s workload may doom your project. Multiply this effect by the sheer volume of projects underway in many organizations, and you have a recipe for failure.

I like to think that if I were a better manager of my time, I could do everything. However, even with the most ruthless time management, there is a limit to what one human being can do. Capacity is not unlimited, even if I were willing to sacrifice my family, friends and health.

So, is the answer never saying “yes” to anything new? No. You don’t want to miss out on an assignment that will sharpen your skills and expand your capabilities. As Stephen Kreider, a Wall Street Journal blogger wrote, “If we don’t sign on for too much, we may miss that one thing that stands above the others.”

Maybe the answer is to be thoughtful and intentional about what you commit to and how you use your time. Consider the fact that there are a wide range of possibilities – from saying “OK” to everything to living a relatively commitment-free existence.

Believe it or not, there are professionals who strive to operate without a calendar, like Teresa Basich, a guest blogger on the Life Without Pants: Perspective on Life Less Restricted blog. (In spite of the ultra-provocative title, this blog actually contains a lot of thoughtful content.)

Folks like Teresa want to live a full life that isn’t part of the fast lane. They strive for balance and question taking on more obligations. She says, “When is it enough? I’ve asked this before and I’ll continue to ask it until people actually consider it for more than the two seconds they have to actually think freely about a question.”

Take your two seconds (and preferably more) now to review your commitments. Can some be given away or discarded altogether? How will you decide what new challenges to take on? In other words, do your daily choices about time align with your life’s priorities?

Want to make better choices about your commitments? Contact Humanergy.

Photo courtesy of stock.xchng.


Get real about procrastination

“If it weren’t for the last minute, I wouldn’t get anything done.” Author unknown

Okay, in the spirit of full disclosure, I must admit to you that I’m working on this blog at the very last minute, and I’m woefully behind on a number of projects that really need to happen. So one of my resolutions is to get off my butt and address the pressing issues I have been ignoring.

Are you starting 2011 with a renewed commitment to stop procrastinating? Millions of people are in your (our) shoes, but how many of them will succeed in tackling those critical things that never seem to get done? Sadly, not many. How can you banish procrastination once and for all?

Be brutally realistic. Subconsciously, you have already decided that some of the items on your list are never going to happen. Maybe they’re not that important to you, and you’ve taken them on simply to please someone else. You may be incapable of doing a task, but reluctant to accept that fact. It could be that it’s really not essential. Whatever the reason, erase the work you realistically won’t do from your list. Then you can direct your energies to the things you must do.

Conquer time. Many people complain that the reason they don’t get important work done is that they don’t control their schedule. That simply isn’t true (unless you are in prison, perhaps). The real truth is that although you may not have a lot of time, you have some. What you do with that time is your choice. Read our blog called Ruthless time management for the frantically busy.

Do it first. Don’t allow yourself to start the day without addressing the most vital of your put-off-tasks. Otherwise, you’ll get distracted from what is truly most important. See our blog post called Act strategically. Eat the frog first.

Chunk it up. If just thinking about the enormity of the job makes you queasy, start by breaking it up into manageable bits. Don’t allow yourself to wallow in the vastness of the task; as Dorie in the movie, Finding Nemo, said, “Just keep swimming…just keep swimming.”

Get help. If you think you have to do it all yourself, think again…and read our blog post called Help! I need somebody. Recruit someone to tangibly help, be a sounding board or hold you accountable.

Make a public commitment. Nobody wants to be caught not doing something they’d committed to do. Use your fear of embarrassment by making your resolution specific, deadline-driven and public. Explicitly tell people how they can help keep you on track.

Build in consequences. Finally finished that basement renovation? Schedule a massage. (You might need it.) Consequences can be positive or negative, but they should be incentive enough for you to do this hard work.

Give up on perfection. Remember The Cult of Done Manifesto, part of which states, “Laugh at perfection. It’s boring and keeps you from being done.” Perfection is unattainable and unnecessary. Your best has to be good enough. Otherwise, delegate it to someone else who could do a better job.

You show what you value not by what you talk about, or lay awake pondering, but by what you do. So get off the computer and spend a few minutes zeroing in what you’ve been trying to avoid. You may find that it’s easier than you think. Olin Miller said, “If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it.” Like writing blogs, for instance.

Have a question about this topic or want some input from Humanergy? Contact us!

Photo courtesy of stock.xchng


Are you a consistent leader?

Is your leadership consistent, regardless of the setting you are in, the people you’re with or the circumstances you’re facing? Consistency in leadership may sound like a recipe for boring sameness or rigid thinking. On the contrary, being a consistent leader means:

  • What is important today is also important tomorrow
  • You don’t chase the latest fad, project or trend
  • Your bad mood doesn’t cause you to act radically different
  • People know what to expect from you

Being consistent in your leadership means that even under duress, you make the right choices. You steer the ship, make mid-course corrections and align your “crew” around important best practices that will help you reach your destination.

Even the most reliable and unswerving of leaders must be able to adjust to change. Yet, the consistent leader will be grounded, so that unfamiliar and challenging conditions won’t change the quality of interactions, thinking and decision-making.

How do you stay on course and make consistently positive leadership choices? Start by answering these four questions.

1. What is success? Success is defined first by the impact you want to make – and secondarily by the results you need to achieve to have that impact. Think about who and what will be changed by your efforts. That’s your impact.

2. What is sacred? What are your non-negotiables? Make a list of the things you will not compromise, no matter what. For example, you might list ethical standards that are vital and unchanging.

3. What is important? List a few guiding principles for your life and your leadership. Examples might include:

  • Act with integrity
  • Be a good steward of resources
  • Be humble
  • Have fun

4. What works? Know – and grow – best practices that lead to success, help you hold fast to what is sacred and allow you to focus on what is important. Identify the thinking and actions that are requirements for questions 1, 2 and 3.

Consistent, dependable leadership choices provide a solid foundation for your people – enabling them to weather storms and operate at their peak. You shouldn’t be completely predictable. You don’t have to be perfect, and you’re allowed to have bad days. What you cannot do is permit outside conditions to change you fundamentally – causing you to shift whichever way the wind blows. Be the anchor that your organizational ship requires.

Have a question or want some input from Humanergy about this topic? Contact us and we’ll get right back to you!


Stop, Think, Choose

You’ve had it! Person X has just irritated you again. You are about to scream, when something you heard at a Humanergy work session comes to mind. Stop, Think, Choose.

Yes, it’s true. We all choose our behavior. No one makes us do anything. So how do we resist the urge to lash out?

Stop. Create a choice space, a moment to orient your thinking. It could be as simple as a breath or could be a change of environment, or moving away from your computer to another table or meeting room. Go grab a notepad and pen, turn your cell phone to vibrate…create an opportunity for you to orient yourself to responding clearly and logically, not reacting.

Think. Make sure you understand the situation and have all the information you need. Do this by:

  • Summarizing your understanding before making comment or asking questions
  • Clarify your understanding by using at least 3 open-ended questions before voicing your opinion
  • Tell your team you are going to do this and need their help to ensure you change the habit
  • Get into the shoes of your people…understand situations and information from their perspective

Choose. Choose your behavior based on your understanding of the situation and the greater good.

When you successfully Stop, Think, Choose, don’t forget to celebrate. Your actions will have a positive domino effect.

Have a question or want some input from Humanergy about this topic? Contact us and we’ll get right back to you!

42-17177545