Tag Archives: connections

Three reasons NOT to have a meeting

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I saw a post today about how to drastically cut meeting time by sending out relevant materials in advance and proceeding right to discussion. Margaret Heffeman writes in her blog at cbsnews.com that assuming people do their homework and proceeding right to discussion will save about 90% of your meeting time.

I have an even better idea. Cancel the meeting! Here are three reasons people often meet when they should not:

To discuss an issue. If you don’t need to decide what to do right away and the issue isn’t sensitive or complicated, people can find other ways to share ideas. Use a chat board or other social media, ask people to respond to a targeted survey or simply use natural opportunities (like hallway conversations) to ask people what they think.

To build relationships. People who work together do need to create a connection that allows for open communication and mutual trust. Opportunities to build relationships can and should be built into a meeting agenda. However, if you’re having a weekly meeting with no other defined and necessary outcomes, you’re probably wasting everyone’s time. Try a monthly lunch instead, and keep meetings focused largely on achieving business results.

Because it’s on the calendar. This is the most frequent type of meeting that should not happen – meetings that are on a regular basis without regard to the need/focus. Schedule the fewest number of recurring meetings possible and feel free to cancel them if you don’t have an output-based agenda.

What are the worthwhile reasons to meet? Hold a meeting if you need to make a decision, engage the group creativity, get aligned on direction or improve a specific aspect of team functioning.

Meeting when it isn’t absolutely necessary wastes everyone’s time, and may actually create more issues. “Our meetings are held to discuss many problems which would never arise if we held fewer meetings” (Ashleigh Brilliant). 

 

Need to make your (fewer) meetings count? Contact Humanergy.

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The most powerful word

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You’re in a heated discussion with your colleagues. You need to make a decision and move forward collectively.

What one word will help you reach alignment? And.

When I strongly believe in my position, it is all too easy to counter the other person’s view with a firm, “BUT……” However, if I use “AND” instead, my argument stands on its own merit. I reduce the conflictual tone and set everyone up for success.

Here’s an example:

“I want to hire 7 new interns in the fall, and you’ll train them.”

“I think that interns are great value, and I can’t train them during that time frame. Josie would do a great job with the interns.”

“What? You’ve always trained and supervised our interns.”

“Yes, and given the strategic plan priorities, I need to focus on the customer needs survey. Would you like me to speak with Josie and help her prepare?”

Try reading through this scenario replacing the two bold “ands” with “buts.” Those two short words make a dramatic impact on the tone of the discussion.

Using “and” instead of “but” decreases the confrontational aspect and boosts the authoritative tone as well. You are able to state the facts and defend your position without sounding oppositional. Now, that’s powerful communication – packed into three letters!

 

Need some help communicating for alignment? Contact Humanergy.

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Identify your elephants

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Sheila and Sam have never gotten along well, and when they are assigned to a key project together, neither person is pleased. Minor tensions slowly grow into full-scale battle, and the rest of the team is uncertain about what to do. They encourage Sheila and Sam to “stay focused” and “try to get along.” Meanwhile, the task they are assigned is floundering.

In the midst of a conflict situation, we sometimes address only the symptoms and surface issues. The elephants in the room – emotional flash points – are ignored out of fear that they will result in a heated exchange, or worse, permanently damage the already-tenuous relationship.

Some of these potential flash points are past history, power differences, hidden agendas and fear of being blamed or humiliated. It can be hard to raise these issues in the conversation; NOT addressing them, however, can guarantee that you’ll be in conflict again very soon.

If you observe this dynamic at work, here are some tips about navigating these sensitive issues:

Bring in a facilitator. Someone who is not involved in the conflict may be in a better position to ask the right questions, ensure open communication and enforce ground rules.

Use “I” statements. Encourage both parties to speak from their own perspective and experience. Avoid making assumptions or accusing others of feeling a certain way.

Ask questions. Statements can have the effect of hardening positions. Try asking open-ended questions instead, like, “How does the previous project’s failure affect our interactions today?” or “What issues of power play a role in this conflict?”

Use neutral language. This may take some pre-planning. Think of the words that might inflame tensions, and how you can restate the same idea in more neutral terms. Avoid sarcasm, exaggerations, name-calling and offensive language.

One of the most difficult aspects of conflict resolution is recognizing when we are stuck, or that we have emotional “elephants” that keep us from seeing the situation differently. Remember the words of George Bernard Shaw when you need to stay open to self-awareness: “The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it.”

Need help identifying your elephants and managing conflict? Contact Humanergy.

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The best way to think great thoughts

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You have a problem to solve or a new idea to cook up. What do you do? Pile lots of people in a room and brainstorm, right?

Wrong. It turns out that free association in a group uncovers predictable options, not innovative, creative ones. In the presence of others, we don’t want to seem weird, so we edit our responses or end up building on someone elses thoughts. And let’s face it. Being in a group of your peers is often not the relaxing, free-form state your brain needs to produce its best work (especially if you tank up on coffee and sugar). Fast Company’s Debra Kay blogged about this:

“It turns out that a brainstorming session is a great place to load up on baked goods and caffeine, but it’s not so great for generating ideas.”

Instead of group brainstorming, start with laying out the issue and then let people go about their lives. Allow the thoughts to percolate and pop up when they’re ready – usually when they’re engaged in something else. Some of the greatest thoughts spring to mind when you’re in the shower, taking a walk or doing something else that is pressure-free.

MindTools recommends individual brainstorming before any group engagement around an idea. Find a place away from distractions, and consider creating a Mind Map to articulate and connect thoughts.

You may want to do something more productive with your time than pondering new uses for your toilet plunger. Whatever you decide to tackle, start with giving everyone some solo time before gathering to brainstorm. You’ll tap the best ideas your people have to offer.

Need to energize your innovation? Contact Humanergy.

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Feed your team

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I am a card-carrying member of ASDT (Adult Survivors of a Dysfunctional Team). I am sure that it is just a coincidence (or the fact that I have been working for many, many years), but I’ve served on a few teams that were not productive.

Dysfunctional teams do tend to get attention, even if the intervention doesn’t always work. The teams that get short shrift are the okay, average and good ones. As long as the team isn’t hopeless or causing too many problems for others, it’s not likely to rise to the top of the boss’ priority list.

Too bad. Great teams are the drivers of amazing results, as reinforced by Harvard Business Review blogger, Judith A. Ross, in Make Your Good Team Great. Research shows that the qualities that drive top team performance can be described as group Emotional Intelligence. In other words, these teams know how to recognize and manage the emotions of their members.

Ms. Ross recommends making time for the team to connect both inter-personally and around their strengths. This will help them appreciate each others’ contributions and tap each person’s strengths. She also emphasizes the importance of teams recognizing and managing the emotions that are sure to arise – the conflicts and the joys.

Kim Kanaga and Henry Browning authored the Center for Creative Leadership’s Keeping Watch: How to Monitor and Maintain a Team. They recommend that leaders regularly monitor a team’s status in six dimensions of team performance:

Clear purpose

Empowering team structure

Strong organizational support

Positive internal relationships

Well-tended external relationships

Efficient information management

The authors suggest ways to evaluate each of these six dimensions, and also expand upon four key indicators, which they liken to the gauges on a car’s dashboard.

Effort – Extent to which members devote time and effort to the task

Knowledge and skills – Degree to which the team possesses the right competencies

Tactics – Using rational, logical and direct approaches to accomplish goals

Group dynamics – Extent to which the team works without undue friction or waste

People who lead teams must regularly “take the pulse” of the team and help them adapt to changing circumstances. Teams need a leader who can smooth the way, ensuring that the team has the information, resources, autonomy and management support that will ensure success. What can you do today to make the life of your team better?

Need help leading your team? Contact Humanergy.

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Name your leadership genius

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Should you spend more time leveraging your strengths or fixing your weaknesses? Evidence suggests that leaders are more effective when they focus on maximizing their natural capabilities. Stories abound of people who failed when they jumped into positions that did not align with their core areas of competence.

You probably have a pretty good idea of what you do well and could list your strengths. A somewhat tougher question is, “What is your unique, distinguishing ability as a leader?”

That area of competence is the quality that you should be zeroing in on to accomplish your goals. Bob Rothman, co-chief operating officer at Gap International, says this is your genius – your best thinking that leads to outstanding performance.

Your leadership genius might be articulating the vision for the organization or helping employees grow and develop. If you’re not sure, ask a few trusted colleagues. To make the most of your capabilities, figure out “What is my leadership genius and how can I leverage this extreme competence?”

 

Need to make the most of what you do best? Contact Humanergy.

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First meetings – 6 steps to success

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Whether you’re a consultant, freelancer, small business owner or a leader in your organization, you know how important it is to have a successful first meeting with a prospect, client or other key people. The old saying is true. You don’t get a second chance to make a good first impression. Even those of us who are experienced at “first meetings” could benefit from a refresher on how to start a new relationship on the right foot.

Do your homework. Before the meeting, gain as much information as you can on the person, his organization and the issues that he may be facing. This doesn’t mean that you’ll go in to the meeting with full knowledge. It simply eliminates a lot of the background sharing, so that you can get to the substance of the meeting more quickly.

Get there early. This may seem like First Meeting 101, but how many times have you started a meeting with unnecessary anxiety due to arriving just in the nick of time? Plan for the worst – extreme traffic, bad directions and problems with parking. Better to arrive too early than to arrive frazzled.

Ask good questions. Plan ahead so that you are prepared with a set of questions AND be flexible enough to adapt and add questions along the way. You should walk away from the meeting more informed not only about the facts, but about the other person’s purpose and goals.

Listen well and restate. Resist the urge to plan your response. Put all of your energy into hearing what the other person is saying. Once you feel you understand, paraphrase key points to make sure you really got it. “What I’m hearing is that your main concern is around employee engagement, specifically people not feeling comfortable making decisions that impact the customer experience.” Remember that the goal is not to impress the other person, but to gain knowledge. “Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent” (Dalai Lama).

Take notes. Your memory is not perfect. Make sure that you note enough of the details to capture the vital points. In order to listen completely, you don’t have to take notes while the other person talks. Say, “Let me just jot a few notes to myself to ensure that I get this right.” The other person will appreciate your respect and desire to capture the details.

Give value. After the meeting, give thanks and a little more. Email an article about an issue that she mentioned. Give her a contact that might help her solve a problem that you cannot address. “A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed” (Henrik Ibsen).

First meetings can be stressful. They can also be enjoyable opportunities to get to know others and make valuable connections. The key is to plan enough so that you can relax and be fully engaged in the moment. This focused-yet-relaxed approach sets you up to make a great first impression that may lead to a long and valuable relationship.

 

Need help prepping for a key meeting? Contact Humanergy.

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Three steps to selling anything

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We recently had a fascinating team discussion about business development. Experts say that the vast majority of successful sales conversations involve the buyer talking more than the seller. (No wonder we are turned off by the fast-talking used car salesperson!)

Whether you’re selling a product, service or idea, the most important job of the seller is to listen. You will gain valuable insight about the buyer, but only if you are fully listening (not planning your next comment).

The next priority is asking powerful questions in order to understand the reality of the potential customer.“How is production affected when this machine breaks down?”

Finally, summarize your understanding to make sure that what you heard is really what the other person said. Do not assume that you get it. Periodically sum it up in your own words. “What I heard was you have a problem with the amount of resources this solution will require.”

One potential pitfall is asking questions in order to persuade, not to understand. Questions with an ulterior motive feel manipulative to the listener and can be a barrier in any conversation. When seeking to influence, whether you’re selling a service or an idea, ask honest and sincere questions.

Excellent tips for asking questions (stay in a state of curiosity to sort out where people are coming from) and listening (eliminate judgmental self-conversation, such as “They’re just not getting it!”) are found in Kevin Cashman’s blog on Fast Company.

You have listened, asked questions and ensured that you have mutual understanding. Now is the time to offer your solution. “The wise man puts himself last and finds himself first” (Lao Tsu).

 

Want to be a whiz at selling your big idea? Contact Humanergy.

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Are you a bully boss?

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I saw these words on a t-shirt yesterday:

Humankind. Be both.

Full of warm feelings about the human family, this morning I read a Washington Post blog titled, Do jerks make better leaders? Geoffrey Nunberg concludes that jerky CEOs (he calls them A-holes) get more airtime from the media and attention in popular culture. “Every age seizes on one social miscreant to personify its deepest social anxieties,” and for the moment, it’s the bully boss.

New leaders can confuse the need for clear expectations or accountability with the need to be a jerk. I hope that everyone who reads Mr. Nunberg’s post will focus less on the Donald-Trump-like antics and more on these last two lines:

“True, every once in a while an A-word aspirant manages to percolate to the executive dining room on the strength of audacity alone. But the majority wind up seven job changes later, still in the company cafeteria, eating lunch alone.”

Bill Taylor sums up the importance of kindness (versus being smart) on Harvard Business Review’s blog:

“So by all means, encourage your people to embrace technology, get great at business analytics, and otherwise ramp up the efficiency of everything they do. But just make sure all their efficiency doesn’t come at the expense of their humanity. Small gestures can send big signals about who we are, what we care about, and why people should want to affiliate with us. It’s harder (and more important) to be kind than clever.”

Go forth and be an intelligent, demanding and nice leader!

 

Want to find better balance between kindness and accountability? Contact Humanergy

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5 tips for thriving on the receiving end of change

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Most advice about change is directed at leaders, often dealing with managing employees’ reactions to change. There are far fewer books and articles written from an employee-facing-change perspective.

To roll with change in your organization, start with these tips:

1. Recognize your starting point as it relates to change. In general, do you go with the flow and adapt quickly? If yes, hurray for you! However, if change or ambiguity throw you for a loop, you need to prepare for change more carefully by attending to the following tips.

2. Be honest about your concerns and feelings. Admit (at least to yourself) if the impending change creates anxiety, fear or even anger. The only way to move past these emotions is to acknowledge them first. Take some time to examine your reaction to the upcoming change. Seek the counsel of a trusted mentor to help you formulate a plan to manage your feelings while you make the necessary adjustments.

3. Learn about the context for change. Talk with your boss about why the change is important to the organization. If you get the business case for the change – and the negative impact of not changing – you’ll find it easier to buy in.

4. Ask lots of questions, but don’t expect all the answers right away. Your leaders don’t have a fool-proof crystal ball. There will be unanticipated events, modifications and impact. Some ambiguity is to be expected.

5. Choose your behavior. You could join the vocal opposition or an underground movement for the status quo. While that may delay the change, your reputation will be damaged. If you can’t be an early adopter, strive to be at least a neutral-to-positive force for change. Above all, don’t feed the gossip mill, and confront peers whose behavior is inappropriate.

Some changes may so profoundly affect the organization or your role that staying on the job is difficult, even impossible. As with any unknown, expect the best AND prepare for the worst. As Charles R. Swindoll said, “We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.”

 

Struggling with change? Contact Humanergy

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