Tag Archives: ego

I’m always right

Posted on by
1

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty much always right. I may be able to put on a face of openness, but I am at heart a very opinionated person. Ask me about almost any subject, and I most likely will have a strong (and well-reasoned) opinion on it.

The difference between me and the folks I find downright scary? I am willing to admit that I don’t know everything, and there are whole areas about which I am clueless (e.g., opera and poetry). I am also willing to change my mind based on a compelling set of facts, personal experience or the counsel of wise people. In other words, I know I’m right AND I’m not so rigid that I am unwilling to listen, learn and change my mind.

Leaders are supposed to be open to new ideas and shift strategies when circumstances dictate. Not all do that effectively. It seems to come from a deep need to be right, which is really just masking a deep fear that they aren’t as competent as they should be.

Since it’s unlikely that you’d identify yourself as a person who must be right all the time, how can you work with someone else who is sure they’ve cornered the market on brains?

Know thy know-it-all. You’ll work more effectively with the alleged wiz if you understand what makes him or her tick. How does this person like to receive information? Do they need to know the details, or would they be more impacted by the big picture view? Would it be better to provide a visual, a bullet point list or a detailed report? Align your interactions to meet their needs, and you’ll eliminate some of the roadblocks to working together.

Appeal to their (fragile) egos. I’m not a big fan of sucking up in any form. When dealing with people who are insecure and can never be wrong, it is sometimes necessary to employ the “you-said-something-the-other-day” strategy. If you have a compelling argument for a certain decision, start from something the know-it-all said (and feel free to take a little license from there). For example, “You mentioned the budget for the ABC acquisition yesterday, and I figured you were wondering about the numbers. I took a look at them, and you’re right. We are 20% over budget! Here’s a strategy for coming in on target.” The most important part of this strategy was the “you’re right” part, which is music to their ears.

Combat their unrealistic optimism. Leaders who must be right find it difficult to appropriately gauge risk. They are overly optimistic that everything they touch will turn into gold. Proceed with caution, but do bring the facts to light. Portray it as the way to “maximize their brilliant innovation” and it will be an easier pill to swallow.

Here’s one of the most frustrating things about people who think they’re always right. Even when they do switch sides on an issue based on more information, know-it-alls find it hard to view themselves as being wrong in the first place. As Ashleigh Brilliant said, “My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.”

Want to find out more about working with your (un)friendly neighborhood know-it-all? Contact Humanergy.

Photo purchased from istockphoto.com.


Just confident enough

Posted on by
Reply

Self-confidence is a prerequisite for leadership. But like other laudable qualities, confidence must be kept in balance. Successful leaders believe in themselves and their capabilities. They also are not afraid to be wrong or make mistakes. They are bold, yet have their feet firmly planted in reality.

Heidi Grant Halvorson profiled Alan Greenspan in her blog post called Why Some Leaders Don’t Learn From Their Mistakes. Mr. Greenspan, she says, has yet to take any responsibility for inaction on the part of the Federal Reserve in the months and years before the financial crisis. Halvorson believes that Greenspan falls prey to what psychologists call self-serving bias. This is our protective brain telling us that if something goes wrong, it must be someone else’s fault. Conversely, success must be something we are responsible for creating.

So is it any wonder that organizational leaders become overconfident and forget that they’re fallible? How can you avoid the pitfall of being too sure of yourself?

Recognize limitations. Motivational speakers tout the “fact” that if you believe you can do something, then you can. Actually, the opposite is more universally true. If you don’t have confidence, you won’t succeed. Unfortunately, confidence doesn’t create competence, and sometimes people just can’t achieve something they really want.

Admit insecurities. The root of the self-serving bias is insecurity. If we really are not convinced that we deserve our position or know enough, our minds work overtime to compensate. It can be difficult to admit to insecurities. The consequences of not doing so are even more dire.

Practice curiosity. Leaders get paid to be certain, or at least that’s how it appears. Rather than thinking you have to know or decide something now, suspend judgment. Spend time asking questions and give yourself permission to find new answers. If you seek first to understand, you may find that there’s a world of unexplored possibilities you would have otherwise missed.

Change your mind. Because the new, curious you has ventured into uncharted territory, you may find that you’ve been wrong in the past. Be willing to change your mind about things that used to be certain.

Change your behavior. A confident leader seeks regular feedback and makes disciplined efforts to improve performance on an ongoing basis.

Cultivate genuineness. One behavior to change might be your leadership persona. Some organizational cultures overly-reward charisma  and a brash leadership presence. Instead of bravado and fast talk, be authentic in your demeanor. When your bearing is driven by a desire to do your very best – to move the organization and its people forward – there can be no artifice. You must be the real you. Anything else is for the benefit of your own ego.

True confidence is rooted in humility. So don’t beat yourself up when things go wrong, and do take your lumps and learn from them. “Create the kind of self you will be happy to live with all your life” (Golda Meir).

Have a question about this topic or want some input from Humanergy? Contact us!

Photo courtesy of stock.xchng