Tag Archives: feedback

Identify your elephants

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Sheila and Sam have never gotten along well, and when they are assigned to a key project together, neither person is pleased. Minor tensions slowly grow into full-scale battle, and the rest of the team is uncertain about what to do. They encourage Sheila and Sam to “stay focused” and “try to get along.” Meanwhile, the task they are assigned is floundering.

In the midst of a conflict situation, we sometimes address only the symptoms and surface issues. The elephants in the room – emotional flash points – are ignored out of fear that they will result in a heated exchange, or worse, permanently damage the already-tenuous relationship.

Some of these potential flash points are past history, power differences, hidden agendas and fear of being blamed or humiliated. It can be hard to raise these issues in the conversation; NOT addressing them, however, can guarantee that you’ll be in conflict again very soon.

If you observe this dynamic at work, here are some tips about navigating these sensitive issues:

Bring in a facilitator. Someone who is not involved in the conflict may be in a better position to ask the right questions, ensure open communication and enforce ground rules.

Use “I” statements. Encourage both parties to speak from their own perspective and experience. Avoid making assumptions or accusing others of feeling a certain way.

Ask questions. Statements can have the effect of hardening positions. Try asking open-ended questions instead, like, “How does the previous project’s failure affect our interactions today?” or “What issues of power play a role in this conflict?”

Use neutral language. This may take some pre-planning. Think of the words that might inflame tensions, and how you can restate the same idea in more neutral terms. Avoid sarcasm, exaggerations, name-calling and offensive language.

One of the most difficult aspects of conflict resolution is recognizing when we are stuck, or that we have emotional “elephants” that keep us from seeing the situation differently. Remember the words of George Bernard Shaw when you need to stay open to self-awareness: “The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it.”

Need help identifying your elephants and managing conflict? Contact Humanergy.

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Feed your team

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I am a card-carrying member of ASDT (Adult Survivors of a Dysfunctional Team). I am sure that it is just a coincidence (or the fact that I have been working for many, many years), but I’ve served on a few teams that were not productive.

Dysfunctional teams do tend to get attention, even if the intervention doesn’t always work. The teams that get short shrift are the okay, average and good ones. As long as the team isn’t hopeless or causing too many problems for others, it’s not likely to rise to the top of the boss’ priority list.

Too bad. Great teams are the drivers of amazing results, as reinforced by Harvard Business Review blogger, Judith A. Ross, in Make Your Good Team Great. Research shows that the qualities that drive top team performance can be described as group Emotional Intelligence. In other words, these teams know how to recognize and manage the emotions of their members.

Ms. Ross recommends making time for the team to connect both inter-personally and around their strengths. This will help them appreciate each others’ contributions and tap each person’s strengths. She also emphasizes the importance of teams recognizing and managing the emotions that are sure to arise – the conflicts and the joys.

Kim Kanaga and Henry Browning authored the Center for Creative Leadership’s Keeping Watch: How to Monitor and Maintain a Team. They recommend that leaders regularly monitor a team’s status in six dimensions of team performance:

Clear purpose

Empowering team structure

Strong organizational support

Positive internal relationships

Well-tended external relationships

Efficient information management

The authors suggest ways to evaluate each of these six dimensions, and also expand upon four key indicators, which they liken to the gauges on a car’s dashboard.

Effort – Extent to which members devote time and effort to the task

Knowledge and skills – Degree to which the team possesses the right competencies

Tactics – Using rational, logical and direct approaches to accomplish goals

Group dynamics – Extent to which the team works without undue friction or waste

People who lead teams must regularly “take the pulse” of the team and help them adapt to changing circumstances. Teams need a leader who can smooth the way, ensuring that the team has the information, resources, autonomy and management support that will ensure success. What can you do today to make the life of your team better?

Need help leading your team? Contact Humanergy.

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Great expectations

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It may seem like common sense that when a teacher expects students to excel at a certain level, the students do. Grading can be subjective, after all. It is more surprising that studies of teachers have found that students’ scores on objective IQ tests correlated with teacher expectations.

Specifically,  if teachers are told that a randomly-selected student is expected to realize a large gain in IQ, that is exactly what happens. Why? Teachers begin to treat them differently. These “expectations affect teachers’ moment-to-moment interactions with the children they teach in a thousand almost invisible ways. Teachers give the students that they expect to succeed more time to answer questions, more specific feedback, and more approval: They consistently touch, nod and smile at those kids more.”

Transferring this phenomenon to a work setting, research by Jean-Francois Manzoni and Jean-Louis Barsoux indicates that the boss is often inadvertently complicit in the failure of an employee. This dynamic begins with an early mistake, lukewarm recommendation or personality clash and is set in motion as the boss questions the employee’s competence. Under increased scrutiny by the boss, the employee loses confidence. He freezes or over-reacts. The syndrome is then in full swing, and it is no surprise when the employee fails.

Think about the people you supervise, and ask yourself these questions:

What do you expect your people to accomplish?

How does that impact your behavior and thus, their achievement?

How should you change your thinking and behavior to remove the impact of unwarranted low expectations?

Need help managing your expectations and your people’s performance? Contact Humanergy.

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Name your leadership genius

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Should you spend more time leveraging your strengths or fixing your weaknesses? Evidence suggests that leaders are more effective when they focus on maximizing their natural capabilities. Stories abound of people who failed when they jumped into positions that did not align with their core areas of competence.

You probably have a pretty good idea of what you do well and could list your strengths. A somewhat tougher question is, “What is your unique, distinguishing ability as a leader?”

That area of competence is the quality that you should be zeroing in on to accomplish your goals. Bob Rothman, co-chief operating officer at Gap International, says this is your genius – your best thinking that leads to outstanding performance.

Your leadership genius might be articulating the vision for the organization or helping employees grow and develop. If you’re not sure, ask a few trusted colleagues. To make the most of your capabilities, figure out “What is my leadership genius and how can I leverage this extreme competence?”

 

Need to make the most of what you do best? Contact Humanergy.

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Listen when you do not want to hear

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On a couple of occasions recently, I’ve been challenged to listen to feedback that I did not welcome. In one case, it was a long-term member of an organization in which I hold a volunteer leadership role. This person was upset about a number of issues, and was airing some long-held grievances.

In the second example, we got some feedback at work that something we’d done wasn’t particularly helpful. A colleague and I had to figure out how to respond, even though our first reaction was, “What could he possibly mean?!”

When an idea is hard to hear, that’s when we need to work the hardest to tune in. Yes, feedback is a gift. But if we are to be truthful, sometimes we don’t want it, or we want to “spin” it to minimize its impact and keep ourselves comfortable.

How can you respond productively when your first impulse is to dismiss it or get angry?

Just listen. Resist the urge to respond right away. Think of yourself as a sponge, absorbing the message without judgment.

Seek to understand. Again, without assessing its validity, seek to understand the issue from the other’s perspective. Ask questions with the intent of learning more and seeing the issue from another viewpoint.

See the whole picture. MindTool’s Feedback Matrix is a great tool to help you break down the feedback into what was expected/unexpected and positive/negative. While unexpected negative feedback can be difficult to process, recognize we’re all on a path of continuous improvement. So, there’s something you need to work on….that’s OK. Understand that the feedback is not an indictment of your overall performance. Keep perspective and respond appropriately.

Take a break. When you are caught off guard by feedback, sometimes it’s best to take some time before responding. Say, “Thank you for telling me. I’m trying to absorb what you’ve said. Can we get back together tomorrow?”

Consider the source. If your feedback is from someone whose intentions are not constructive, seek a second opinion from someone who can give you an unbiased evaluation. Don’t go to a friend who will match your indignation and help you feel better. You may find that the “spiteful critic’s” feedback really was a gift.

Most feedback contains at least a kernel of truth, even if you find the majority of it to be inaccurate or unfair. Make it your responsibility to find some value in the message and take action to improve.

 

Got some “ouchy” feedback and don’t know where to proceed? Contact Humanergy.

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How to kill wisdom

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Barry Schwartz studies wisdom and gave a brilliant Ted lecture on the topic that you won’t want to miss. In case you don’t have 20 minutes to watch the whole lecture now, here are the highlights.

Leaders want to encourage certain behaviors in their employees, ones they believe will advance the organization’s mission. The goal is for people to grow in wisdom – acting based on intelligence, experience and common sense. Dr. Schwartz discusses how to promote practical wisdom, which he defines as the moral will (I want to contribute) and skill (I know how to help) to do the right things.

Using the example of hospital janitors, Dr. Schwartz outlined how people use practical wisdom to make a difference. Although their job descriptions included nothing about contact with human beings, their care for and interactions with others positively impacted patient care and outcomes. The janitors:

Ignored orders in order to help people. A janitor skipped cleaning the waiting room out of respect for sleeping visitors who had been at the hospital for days.

Improvised based on the situation. Because a parent did not see him do it the first time, one janitor re-mopped a comatose patient’s room.

Used their skills to serve others, not themselves. These janitors often added to their own workload, so that patients’ and families’ needs were met.

Leaders often create rules and incentives to increase the likelihood that people will exhibit desired behaviors. Dr. Schwartz cautions that rules keep people from making well-reasoned judgments and don’t allow improvisation in the service of what is right.

Incentives seem harmless, but they shift people’s thinking from, “What is my responsibility?” to “What is in my best interest?” In effect, activities that involve incentives have been shown to reduce morale and morality.

Rather than more rules, incentives or ethics policies, Dr. Schwartz advises us to:

Celebrate moral heroes who show practical wisdom every day.

Get to know the people in your organization in order to know how to encourage moral will and skill.

Allow people the time and give them permission to do the right thing, because moral heroes are made, not born.

Think you’ve got the right amount and types of rules and incentives? Maybe it’s time for a second look. As Dr. Schwartz says, without wisdom, brilliance can get you into trouble. Watch this Ted video now.

Need help developing practical wisdom in your organization? Contact Humanergy.

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Are you in danger of losing your high potentials?

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Retaining employees with high potential is essential to the success of your organization.

The Center for Creative Leadership’s High-Potential Talent: A View from Inside the Leadership Pipeline defines “high-potential talent as an employee who is assessed as having the ability, organizational commitment, and motivation to rise to and succeed in more senior positions in the organization.”

How are high potentials different from other employees? According to research by Ready, Conger and Hill (Are You a High Potential?, Harvard Business Review, June 2010), companies tend to describe high potentials this way:

“High potentials consistently and significantly outperform their peer groups in a variety of settings and circumstances. While achieving these superior levels of performance, they exhibit behaviors that reflect their companies’ culture and values in an exemplary manner. Moreover, they show a strong capacity to grow and succeed throughout their careers within an organization—more quickly and effectively than their peer groups do.”

To create a nimble strategy for managing your leadership pipeline, follow these steps:

Identify. Who are your high potentials? Though you may balk at creating a formal list of high potentials, many concede that identifying individuals with potential for growth is important for the organizations and the people themselves.

Engage and develop. Now that you have your list, create a plan to nurture your high potentials that includes both access to upper management and opportunities to grow. CCL’s research on high potentials notes that “high potentials receive more development opportunities – such as special assignments and training as well as mentoring and coaching from senior leaders – than other employees.” This gives them role models and advocates to develop those relationships that are the connective tissue within the organization.

Retain. CCL’s research indicates that people formally identified as high potentials have a higher retention rate than those not formally identified. Be aware, however, that identification as a high potential can trigger anxiety as well as excitement. Your strategy should manage for both, providing support to deal with the inevitable pressures as well as opportunities for development.

Deploy. High potentials want to understand the path that lies ahead, even if the specifics are a little vague. Provide answers to questions such as, What is the next step? What do I need to do or learn to get there? Communication, feedback and increasing levels of authority are critical to leveraging the talent pool, according to CCL.

Maximizing the potential of your organization’s future leaders requires planning and commitment. Allowing the “cream to rise to the top” on its own is not an option if your goal is converting raw talent into exceptional leadership for the long-term benefit of the organization.

Need strategies to engage your high potentials? Contact Humanergy.

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You get what you schedule

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I am great at making to-do lists. Right now I have a paper list at my office, one in Outlook tasks, and two or three on scraps of paper at home, including one that’s buried in a pile of bills and paperwork that needs filing.

No surprise – my “system” is clearly not working. As my colleague David Wheatley says, you get what you schedule. He recommends that you eliminate to-do lists and just put it on the schedule.

Most people use some form of a web-based calendar, but this system works on a pencil-and-paper version too. Rather than collect multiple, independent lists that can go missing, assign tasks to time on your calendar. If you don’t do it during the allotted time, move it to a different slot.

David uses Google calendar creatively to make sure he focuses on his most important work. He starts each day with a number of calls and other work populated in the “wee hours” on his calendar. Each morning, he drags each task from it’s 2:00 a.m. holding spot into an available slot during the day. In this way, he knows what he wants to accomplish and when he will do it.

Scheduling your to-dos creates the expectation that things will get done at a certain time – a great improvement over the “do-this-maybe-sometime” lists I have been creating (and losing). Scheduling also has a built-in feedback mechanism. If you keep moving that task, is it something you’re really committed to do?

Need help with tackling the work that really needs to be done? Contact Humanergy.

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Is it worth coaching someone in job jeopardy?

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Coaching is a substantial investment that is generally offered to high potential leaders. So when is it worth the cost to coach someone who is in job jeopardy?

Whether you hire a coach or do the work with internal resources, coaching is not to be entered into lightly. While it is generally best to focus scarce resources on top performers, there are circumstances where coaching those in job jeopardy pays off.

The number one rule of thumb is to focus on performers with a single derailer that can be fixed. (Think of the person who continually falls over. Teach him to tie his shoes, and the problem is solved.)

Examples of fixable derailers that warrant an investment in coaching:

  • Having a hard time adjusting to a recent change in the organization
  • Difficulty dealing with a particular type of person or situation
  • A bad habit that the person is committed to changing

While overcoming a potentially fatal flaw is difficult, Joe Folkman advises several steps in his recent blog post, including acceptance, gaining a better understanding the issue and creating a plan for improvement. A coach can be a valuable resource at each of the steps outlined by Folkman.

Why go to the trouble to coach any struggling employee? First, it is absolutely cost-effective to retain your people when you consider the time and money involved in the termination and hiring processes. The organization also retains their knowledge, experience and connections with others. And the best outcome is you stand to gain an exceptionally dedicated, motivated employee who appreciates the investment. 

 

Need to focus your coaching resources? Contact Humanergy.

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Assume the best

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You get to work and read an email from a coworker:

Christi – the side door was left unlocked between 2 and 3 pm again. Have you thought of creating a checklist that will help you remember?

Jane

You think:

  • What a jerk
  • Thanks for the helpful suggestion. I’ll try it!
  • She seems to have good ideas, so maybe she can help me figure out what to do

Your answer to this question says a lot about what you believe to be true about people. If you sometimes think the worst of people, you can change and more often give people the benefit of the doubt. Try these tips:

Slow things down. A frenetic pace can promote reactivity and impatience. Take a moment to stop, think and choose your behavior.

Train yourself to think from others’ point of view. Remember that people bring a diversity of culture, learning and experience to every life situation. Practice thinking, “I wonder why she feels that way” and respond based upon genuine curiosity. Learn why they take the actions they take. Ask about what you don’t understand.

Give yourself cues. Display a picture or quote that reminds you of people’s positive qualities. Light a scented candle or play relaxing music to set a laid-back tone.

Treat yourself with respect. People who are critical of others are often their own worst critic. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt, and it will be easier to lighten up with others as well.

Remember that giving others a break is really doing you a favor. When you assume the best, you experience less stress. It doesn’t mean you won’t confront truly inappropriate behavior. You just don’t assume that every possible slight is real or intentional. By choosing your battles, you have more productive energy for addressing the issues that matter most.

People are fallible and everyone makes mistakes. You might assume that some of these mistakes are directed at you. In reality, most often, the behavior is a result of ignorance or a different frame of reference. Or, said less kindly in the phrase known as Hanlon’s Razor, “Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice.”

 

 

Need to make a commitment to assume positive intent? Contact Humanergy.

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