Tag Archives: stress

First meetings – 6 steps to success

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Whether you’re a consultant, freelancer, small business owner or a leader in your organization, you know how important it is to have a successful first meeting with a prospect, client or other key people. The old saying is true. You don’t get a second chance to make a good first impression. Even those of us who are experienced at “first meetings” could benefit from a refresher on how to start a new relationship on the right foot.

Do your homework. Before the meeting, gain as much information as you can on the person, his organization and the issues that he may be facing. This doesn’t mean that you’ll go in to the meeting with full knowledge. It simply eliminates a lot of the background sharing, so that you can get to the substance of the meeting more quickly.

Get there early. This may seem like First Meeting 101, but how many times have you started a meeting with unnecessary anxiety due to arriving just in the nick of time? Plan for the worst – extreme traffic, bad directions and problems with parking. Better to arrive too early than to arrive frazzled.

Ask good questions. Plan ahead so that you are prepared with a set of questions AND be flexible enough to adapt and add questions along the way. You should walk away from the meeting more informed not only about the facts, but about the other person’s purpose and goals.

Listen well and restate. Resist the urge to plan your response. Put all of your energy into hearing what the other person is saying. Once you feel you understand, paraphrase key points to make sure you really got it. “What I’m hearing is that your main concern is around employee engagement, specifically people not feeling comfortable making decisions that impact the customer experience.” Remember that the goal is not to impress the other person, but to gain knowledge. “Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent” (Dalai Lama).

Take notes. Your memory is not perfect. Make sure that you note enough of the details to capture the vital points. In order to listen completely, you don’t have to take notes while the other person talks. Say, “Let me just jot a few notes to myself to ensure that I get this right.” The other person will appreciate your respect and desire to capture the details.

Give value. After the meeting, give thanks and a little more. Email an article about an issue that she mentioned. Give her a contact that might help her solve a problem that you cannot address. “A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed” (Henrik Ibsen).

First meetings can be stressful. They can also be enjoyable opportunities to get to know others and make valuable connections. The key is to plan enough so that you can relax and be fully engaged in the moment. This focused-yet-relaxed approach sets you up to make a great first impression that may lead to a long and valuable relationship.

 

Need help prepping for a key meeting? Contact Humanergy.

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Miracle of mindfulness

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You may be wondering why a leadership blog would focus so often on stress relief. We focus on stress because we live in a chaotic, fast-paced world that naturally creates stress. No one can be a great performer with a stomach in knots, a racing heart and little sleep. Even the most knowledgeable and well-intentioned person will falter under extreme stress.

You owe it to yourself and your people to take action.

Many companies recognize the impact of stress and are teaching techniques to manage it. A recent Wall Street Journal post profiles Dow Chemical and Union Pacific as two examples of organizations that are helping their people chill out:

“…meditation techniques like breathing and bringing thoughts back when they wander, says Diana Kamila, a senior teacher at the university’s Center for Mindfulness. Participants also learn stretching, yoga and “body scans”—noticing their responses to stress, softening their muscles through breathing and tuning in to the feelings and sensations of the moment.

Employees learn to practice periodic “check-ins” while working, walking, driving or eating. And they are encouraged to blend the techniques into their daily routines, at their desks, in meetings or during talks with colleagues.”

Forbes posted about the best workplace stress relievers, including:

  • Adjust work hours, if possible, to suit your personal body clock. Not a morning person? Try to adjust your hours so you can come in later and work when your brain is most ready.
  • Plan for delays when traveling. If your flight is delayed or cancelled, take a long walk around the airport or work out at the nearest gym.
  • Keep perspective by asking, “Will I care about this in ten years?”

How can you help your organization manage the stress that is part of the job? A disciplined focus on wellness, including managing stress productively, ensures that your people get a handle on stress and bring their best selves to the job at hand. Make it clear that you value people who take care of themselves on their off hours as well. “We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie (David Mamet).” 

 

Need to manage stress and remain productive? Contact Humanergy.

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Breathing for (really intense) stress relief

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You might think you’ve got the whole breathing thing down. Maybe you’ve even tried the relaxation breathing technique posted on our blog. There are times, however, when cleansing breaths are not sufficient. During times of intense stress, try these techniques:

Ujjayi breathing. When done properly, Ujjayi (translated as “victorious”) breathing should be both energizing and relaxing. Breathe deeply in the belly, through the nose only for both the inhale and the exhale. The sound of Ujjayi is created by gently constricting the opening of the throat to create some resistance to the passage of air. Gently pulling the breath in on inhalation and gently pushing the breath out on exhalation against this resistance creates a well-modulated and soothing sound—something like the sound of ocean waves rolling in and out.

Alternative nostril breathing. Breathing through your left nostril is calming, while breathing through the right is energizing. Really! So, 1) Sit in a comfortable position, with your spine straight and shoulders relaxed. 2) Close the right nostril with your right thumb. Inhale through the left nostril then close the left nostril with the right pinky and exhale through the right side. 3) Repeat with the opposite side (close left nostril with left thumb, inhale; close right nostril with left pink and exhale). 4) Continue for 2 or 3 minutes minimum, alternating between left and right nostril.

Lion’s breath. To open the lungs and maximize breathing capacity while lowering stress, try the lion’s breath. Deeply inhale and exhale deeply with your tongue out, producing a loud roaring “ha” sound. Stretch your mouth wide open and extend your tongue as far as it will go.

“There is no need to go to India or anywhere else to find peace. You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden or even your bathtub” (Elisabeth Kubler-Ross).

If you don’t mind looking a little silly, you might find that peace right at your desk. Perhaps you can share this blog with your office mates, so you’ll all be able to serenely imagine that the ocean or African jungle are nearby.

 

Want more ideas for kicking stress to the curb? Contact Humanergy.

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The wrong time might be the perfect time

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I was up to my eyeballs in alligators. Looming deadlines for crucial proposals were haunting me, and I was working in overdrive. Then I remembered the scheduled team retreat. Months earlier, we had decided to take half a day to unwind, de-stress and learn mindful practices from our resident expert, Launda Wheatley.

I can’t do this, I thought. As the date approached, my panic grew. I told a coworker that there was no way that I could attend. She wisely replied, “That’s exactly why you need to be there.” (She’s such a smarty pants sometimes.)

Fast forward to the afternoon after the retreat. Calm, focused and thinking clearly, I whipped through those proposals in record time. And they rocked. (No, they weren’t perfect, but they reflected a clarity that I had spent days trying to achieve pre-retreat.)

The moral is, sometimes you need to stop and do something GREAT for yourself, especially when you think you “can’t.”

One of the most profound things Launda shared that day was, “Stress is like living with garbage everywhere, but you don’t see it anymore. It has become your second skin.” The payoff for me for shedding that heavy, dead skin was:

Clarity. Before the retreat, my thinking was hazy. Post-retreat, it felt like the fog had lifted. I made connections more easily and zeroed in on what was important.

Renewed energy to tackle real problems. Pre-retreat my energy level was abysmal. I wasn’t sleeping well, and caffeine was my lifeline. (Sound familiar?) When I returned to the office after the morning of de-stressing, I was jazzed and ready to go. That night, I slept like a baby.

Remembering what calm is like. At one point during the session with Launda I thought, “Oh, I remember this feeling. It’s calm.” It was perhaps the most enduring lesson from the experience. If I start to think that frantic is normal, I need to stop and recharge.

Stress is a necessary part of life, and it can be a great motivator. As Willa Sibert Cather said, “There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.” What I’ve discovered is that I am capable of driving through the storms that will surely pop up, but a state of calm is where I do my best work.

Want to find calm in the midst of your storm? Contact Humanergy.

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Stress relief at your desk

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(This post is part of our series on managing stress. Many thanks to Launda Wheatley, a Humanergy associate who helps clients live calm, centered work and home lives.)

Don’t have time to head to the gym? While activity is probably the best stress buster, you can de-stress without a trip to the fitness center.

A simple, brief head and neck stretch can help you calm down, reduce muscle tightness and relieve pain.

CAUTION: As with any form of exercise or stretching, be careful. Don’t make rapid movements, and stop if you feel any pain. Consult your doctor before doing any type of movement if you have medical issues.

1. Close your eyes and breathe deeply through this entire stretch.

2. Roll your head in a gentle circle, with your shoulders down and relaxed. Slowly rotate your head again, this time in the opposite direction.

3. Lean your head gently to the right until you feel a gentle stretch. Hold for 5 seconds.

4. Bring your head back to center, and lean it gently to the left, feeling a gentle stretch. Hold for 5 seconds, breathing slowly and deeply.

5. Let your head dip forward until it feels heavy and relaxed. Hold for five seconds.

6. Now allow your head to tip back, just a little to open your throat, continuing to breathe slowly for 5 seconds.

7. Allow your head to dip forward, breathe deeply and open your eyes.

If you’re ready for the advanced course, try Men’s Health’s 7 Easy Stretches to Do at Work. Most can be done at your desk, and all are easy to complete at the office.

Another resource is Reader’s Digest office-friendly Stretching Exercises for Stress Relief, complete with helpful photos. My personal favorite is the finger stretch, which can be done anywhere and is remarkably soothing.

Even if you’re feeling cool and collected, you may be surprised by the changes after doing one minute of stretching at your desk. Your body and your brain will thank you.

 


Stressed? Breathe!

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(This is part of the stress reduction series co-authored by Launda Wheatley, Humanergy’s resident wellness expert and mind/body guru.)

If you find yourself feeling tense, there is something you can do that is quick, effective and requires no special equipment. If you are like most people, you regularly breathe in short bursts, from the chest up. To reduce stress, the first step is to change the way you’re breathing.

Follow these easy steps for almost-instant stress reduction:

1. Breathe naturally for one minute, focusing only on your breath. If thoughts encroach, note them and go back to focusing on your breathing.

2. Notice how you are sitting, and sit up taller. Let any stiffness or tightness in your body fade away with each exhale.

3. Exhale longer, counting slowly to 6 for each exhale. Breathe in this way for several minutes.

Want a 5-minute guided breathing exercise? Check out this video by the Mayo Clinic.

Breathing deeply pays dividends over time – reducing stress, alleviating pain and improving sleep. It sure beats the method I often use to combat stress – working faster and harder. As Harry Emerson Fosdick said, “No one can get inner peace by pouncing on it.”

 

Need to create a happier work life? Contact Humanergy.

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This problem could be killing your leadership

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Pat has a problem that she does not acknowledge. Everyone else can see it, but not Pat. In fact, when asked about this issue, she replies that it is part of the job and not impacting her leadership effectiveness.

Pat’s problem is stress. More and more, extreme levels of stress are accepted as a normal requirement of a leader’s job. Many actually consider this constant mental pressure to be a badge of honor.

This bravado about stress means that leaders often won’t address it as the serious situation it is. A 2007 Center for Creative Leadership Research White Paper titled The Stress of Leadership states:

Eighty-eight percent of leaders told us that work is a primary source of stress in their lives and that having a leadership role increases the level of stress (75 percent agreement). Further, about 65 percent of the sample believes that their stress level is higher than it was five years ago.

Pat may be cavalier about today’s stress. However, if her stress level increases over time, she may experience Catastrophic Leadership Failure, as described by Dr. Henry L. Thompson in his article, Catastrophic Leadership Failure™: An Overview:

Cognitive ability (IQ) and emotional intelligence (EI) abilities are required for successful leader performance—at all levels. Recent findings combined with my experience and research on leadership, stress, IQ and EI over the last 25 years indicate that when a leader’s stress level is sufficiently elevated— whether on the front line of a manufacturing process, in the emergency room, the Boardroom or on the battlefield—his/her ability to fully and effectively use IQ and EI in tandem to make timely and effective decisions is significantly impaired. This impairment often leads to catastrophic results.

Do you need to get real about stress and its effects? Are you skeptical that there is a solution to stress, given the intense demands on leaders?

We will be writing more about stress management in upcoming posts. In the meantime, check out this for some tips to get you started on your journey to a more calm existence.

Want to figure out how to make work more fun and less stressful? Contact us.

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Handwritten notes boost learning and creativity

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When was the last time you sat down to compose something on paper, rather than the computer or your iPad? In fact, writing by hand boosts neural activity that can help you learn faster and be more creative.

An article in the Wall Street Journal Online cites research that shows that both adults and children learn more effectively by hand writing versus keyboarding. What are the implications for work?

Take hand-written notes in meetings. You’ll retain more, and the act of handwriting can help you make connections that you otherwise would not. The outcome is more creative brainpower to address problems.

Doodle. A pen in your hand will promote drawing on your paper. Rather than being inattentive, doodlers actually retain 29% more information about what happened in the meetings. Doodling actually gives you just enough cognitive stimulation to prevent you from zoning out completely.

Start with hand-writing. If you’re tasked with writing something at work, don’t just start tapping away at the keyboard. Get out a piece of paper and start writing, drawing pictures and making connections. The beauty of paper is that you can draw arrows to show relationships, and do other non-linear thinking/notations. Once you do sit down at the keyboard, your written work will be a more accurate representation of the complexity and interconnections within your subject.

Journal. Here’s your excuse to invest in an attractive place to keep your work notes and general thoughts. Regular journaling has been shown to have many physical and psychological benefits, including stress reduction and a strengthened immune system. Written expression of your feelings, perspectives and thoughts can help you understand yourself better, solve problems and resolve long-standing issues.

The pen may be mightier than the sword.  It’s also a powerful weapon in your quest to be productive and healthy!

Have needs that Humanergy can fill? Contact us

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Rituals at work

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We typically associate ritual with religious services, mystical practices or organizations like the Masons. A ritual, according to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, is 1) the established form for a ceremony or 2) a ritual observance, ceremonial act or an act (or series of acts) regularly repeated in a set precise manner.

Lindsay Mannering wrote in the Huffington Post about rituals, saying, “I like to think that rituals are our way of telling the future: we know what to expect when, and we know what to do how.” In addition to helping us anticipate the future, are there other useful aspects of workplace rituals?

Rituals reduce stress and increase focus. I have loved my summer work schedule, which includes arriving early in the morning, before anyone else is in the office. In addition to checking voicemail and email, I open the front door and take a moment to appreciate the day’s weather. I breathe deeply and get ready to start the day. This daily ritual has allowed me to be more productive, because I begin the day more calm and relaxed.

Rituals bind people together. When Humanergists bring in new work, we ring a bell dedicated to that purpose. Bell ringing has become a joyful act, even if it is a little corny. It forms a shared memory that unites us, signifying that something wonderful has happened as a result of our work together.

Rituals make best practices stick. Some people have a daily practice of walking around and touching base with people in the workplace. Because it’s a routine (or ritual), they don’t make a conscious choice each day. It’s just what they do. The benefits of this discipline are many – increased connection, better communication flow and an accurate understanding of the “pulse” of the organization.

Rituals allow us to free our minds and focus deeper, increasing our presence on the task at hand. Adam Kayce blogs about the intention that is required:

“What makes the difference? Intention. Have the intention to carry your focus and presence deeper as you do your daily rituals, and see what happens. If you’ve never thought of your work as potential for ritual before, take a moment and reflect on your day… where does this idea of ritual make perfect sense?”

Do you want to use ritual to build best practice and make work more meaningful? Or, do you want to chat about another topic that’s on your mind? Contact Humanergy.

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Communicating heart to heart

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A recent Next Level Blog post about the Dalai Lama stimulated my thinking about leadership and communication. The post noted that the Dalai Lama encourages people to communicate not person-to-person, but heart-to-heart. As leaders, it can be all too easy to communicate position-to-position, so even person-to-person seems like a tall order. What would it mean for your leadership performance if you were able to speak to the hearts of those you lead?

Acknowledges the reality that we are all spiritual beings. We are not defined by our jobs, bodies, capabilities or any other physical characteristics. We are more defined by our hopes, dreams and feelings than by our physical being. Research in emotional intelligence has verified that a healthy emotional state is critical to leadership. Recognizing the spiritual aspects of people means that leaders must understand both what is important to others and what causes them stress or worry. Likewise, leaders must be willing to share at least part of their internal selves as well. As Pierre Tielhard de Chardin said, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”

Conveys a more authentic you. Expressing your genuine emotions with others allows them to get to know the real you. This does not have to mean baring your soul. It does mean that if you’re sad or angry, you should acknowledge it. Hiding your emotions, whether you realize you’re doing it or not, is rarely successful, because the people around you recognize that something is going on.

Allows you to influence your people on a deeper level. Effective leaders seek to motivate and influence the people around them. Inspiring someone with no emotional connection is extremely difficult. When leaders have heart-to-heart connections, they are better able to galvanize the collective energies and connect to the reasons people do more than just show up to work. These leaders are able to connect the work to people’s passions.

Creates an environment of trust. It can be frustrating to work closely with someone who keeps you at arms length. This isn’t about wanting deep and meaningful conversations. This is simply creating an atmosphere of approachability – where issues are openly dealt with, whether they be content-based or related to how people work together. Trust can be adversely affected when one or more team members have feelings that affect team functioning, yet are not discussed. A healthy environment and a degree of emotional connectedness allow team members to deal with the tough stuff.

Allows for healthy discourse and disagreement. When people are connected on a deep level, they are able to express their ideas fully, including dissenting opinions. This is exactly the atmosphere you want as a leader – candid and respectful debate that leads to the best decisions and creative solutions.

Makes you more persuasive. Creating an emotional connection with others sets the stage for being able to sell your ideas effectively. Nothing is more compelling than a solid set of facts embedded in a story that connects with people’s emotions. If you already have a good understanding of how your audience feels on the subject, crafting your message is much easier.

I have had the experience of working with a person who was very closed when it came to emotions. He took “never let them see you sweat” to an extreme. As a colleague, it was frustrating and nonproductive, because it inserted more noise in the process. First, we had to gain an understanding of his position on an issue. Then we also had to figure out how he felt about it, which was darn near impossible. What a waste of energy that could have been otherwise invested productively in the organization!

If you tend towards a more unemotional approach, how can you begin? Consider how you arrive at work each day. I have a terrible habit of marching in, head down, deep in thought. Look up, smile and say, “Good morning.” Whatever you do, align it with how you really feel; be authentic, not fake. Otherwise, you leave people wondering, “What’s up with her?” You’d rather have them saying, “It’s great to work with her, even when she’s having a bad day!”

Could your communication practices be more heart-to-heart? Or is there something else on your mind about leadership?  Contact Humanergy.

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