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The most powerful word

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You’re in a heated discussion with your colleagues. You need to make a decision and move forward collectively.

What one word will help you reach alignment? And.

When I strongly believe in my position, it is all too easy to counter the other person’s view with a firm, “BUT……” However, if I use “AND” instead, my argument stands on its own merit. I reduce the conflictual tone and set everyone up for success.

Here’s an example:

“I want to hire 7 new interns in the fall, and you’ll train them.”

“I think that interns are great value, and I can’t train them during that time frame. Josie would do a great job with the interns.”

“What? You’ve always trained and supervised our interns.”

“Yes, and given the strategic plan priorities, I need to focus on the customer needs survey. Would you like me to speak with Josie and help her prepare?”

Try reading through this scenario replacing the two bold “ands” with “buts.” Those two short words make a dramatic impact on the tone of the discussion.

Using “and” instead of “but” decreases the confrontational aspect and boosts the authoritative tone as well. You are able to state the facts and defend your position without sounding oppositional. Now, that’s powerful communication – packed into three letters!

 

Need some help communicating for alignment? Contact Humanergy.

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Help people learn by experience

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Experience is a wonderful teacher. If you’ve ever tried to convince someone of something by using your gift of gab, you know what I mean. It’s hard to talk people into changing their minds.

Once people have experienced something for themselves, they don’t just believe it. They are true believers and are more likely to want (even need) to share it with others. It is nearly impossible to talk someone out of a belief they’ve gained through personal experience.

Helping people learn through experience takes some setup. Imagine that you want to convince people to change the way they do something at work. If the change is significant, you need to give them some insight and perspective before you say, “Do it this way now!”  How do you set the stage for people learning through experience?

1. Frame and message the idea. Put it into context, help people understand how it applies to them and stress why it matters. “Customers have been concerned that our response to complaints is slow. We are going to change processes to stay competitive.”

2. Share and compare. Ask people to share what they already know on the topic. Build on this information and clarify any points of confusion. “Here’s the current process for prioritizing complaints… What has been your experience? What has worked and what hasn’t?”

3. Test and explore. Tap into people’s previous experiences (“When has this happened to you?”) or predictions (“What would happen if…?“). People begin to think critically about the issue and understand it on a more personal level. “Have you used a matrix to prioritize complaints before? What unexpected consequences might we experience?”

4. Do and learn. Finally, help the person to experience the situation for herself; at this stage, experience becomes a shared understanding. “Let’s try the matrix for an hour with real issues. We’ll share our thoughts and suggestions afterwards.”

Even with the best preparation and explanation, it is only through experience that we can achieve profound insights and deep understanding. When a new idea is explained, tested and adapted in real life, enthusiasm and confidence soar. If you’re struggling with a problem, gain clarity through direct experience. As Leonardo da Vinci said, “Wisdom is the daughter of experience.”

 

Want to set people up for great learning experiences? Contact Humanergy for help.

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The best way to think great thoughts

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You have a problem to solve or a new idea to cook up. What do you do? Pile lots of people in a room and brainstorm, right?

Wrong. It turns out that free association in a group uncovers predictable options, not innovative, creative ones. In the presence of others, we don’t want to seem weird, so we edit our responses or end up building on someone elses thoughts. And let’s face it. Being in a group of your peers is often not the relaxing, free-form state your brain needs to produce its best work (especially if you tank up on coffee and sugar). Fast Company’s Debra Kay blogged about this:

“It turns out that a brainstorming session is a great place to load up on baked goods and caffeine, but it’s not so great for generating ideas.”

Instead of group brainstorming, start with laying out the issue and then let people go about their lives. Allow the thoughts to percolate and pop up when they’re ready – usually when they’re engaged in something else. Some of the greatest thoughts spring to mind when you’re in the shower, taking a walk or doing something else that is pressure-free.

MindTools recommends individual brainstorming before any group engagement around an idea. Find a place away from distractions, and consider creating a Mind Map to articulate and connect thoughts.

You may want to do something more productive with your time than pondering new uses for your toilet plunger. Whatever you decide to tackle, start with giving everyone some solo time before gathering to brainstorm. You’ll tap the best ideas your people have to offer.

Need to energize your innovation? Contact Humanergy.

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Are you in danger of losing your high potentials?

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Retaining employees with high potential is essential to the success of your organization.

The Center for Creative Leadership’s High-Potential Talent: A View from Inside the Leadership Pipeline defines “high-potential talent as an employee who is assessed as having the ability, organizational commitment, and motivation to rise to and succeed in more senior positions in the organization.”

How are high potentials different from other employees? According to research by Ready, Conger and Hill (Are You a High Potential?, Harvard Business Review, June 2010), companies tend to describe high potentials this way:

“High potentials consistently and significantly outperform their peer groups in a variety of settings and circumstances. While achieving these superior levels of performance, they exhibit behaviors that reflect their companies’ culture and values in an exemplary manner. Moreover, they show a strong capacity to grow and succeed throughout their careers within an organization—more quickly and effectively than their peer groups do.”

To create a nimble strategy for managing your leadership pipeline, follow these steps:

Identify. Who are your high potentials? Though you may balk at creating a formal list of high potentials, many concede that identifying individuals with potential for growth is important for the organizations and the people themselves.

Engage and develop. Now that you have your list, create a plan to nurture your high potentials that includes both access to upper management and opportunities to grow. CCL’s research on high potentials notes that “high potentials receive more development opportunities – such as special assignments and training as well as mentoring and coaching from senior leaders – than other employees.” This gives them role models and advocates to develop those relationships that are the connective tissue within the organization.

Retain. CCL’s research indicates that people formally identified as high potentials have a higher retention rate than those not formally identified. Be aware, however, that identification as a high potential can trigger anxiety as well as excitement. Your strategy should manage for both, providing support to deal with the inevitable pressures as well as opportunities for development.

Deploy. High potentials want to understand the path that lies ahead, even if the specifics are a little vague. Provide answers to questions such as, What is the next step? What do I need to do or learn to get there? Communication, feedback and increasing levels of authority are critical to leveraging the talent pool, according to CCL.

Maximizing the potential of your organization’s future leaders requires planning and commitment. Allowing the “cream to rise to the top” on its own is not an option if your goal is converting raw talent into exceptional leadership for the long-term benefit of the organization.

Need strategies to engage your high potentials? Contact Humanergy.

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The best way to make your customers happy

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When it comes to making your customers happy, a recent blog post from our friends at Brains on Fire said it best. “Happy employees lead to happy customers. And that “shared happy” leads to positive word of mouth.”

So, how do you increase the happiness of your employees? Steve Cooper blogged at Forbes.com about Dr. Noelle Nelson’s book, Make More Money By Making Your Employees Happy.  It turns out that what people really want is for companies to “keep promises and show compassion for their employees.”

Paul Spiegelman, author of Why is Everyone Smiling?, suggests at Inc.com:

Recognize and reward. Give accolades to people who are doing a good job by publicly recognizing what is going well.

Make room for fun. Make time for people to do something wacky or unusual.

Walk the talk. Rules, ethics and consequences apply to everyone, regardless of position.

Implementing these strategies doesn’t mean that your employees won’t face problems. Your job as a leader is to enable true happiness – the ability to effectively confront and work through the difficulties that are inevitable in any workplace.

Need to boost happiness at work? Contact Humanergy.

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Four strategies for expecting the unexpected

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Stuff happens. You pull out of the garage on your way to work, already thinking of what you need to do once you arrive. Suddenly, WHAM! You’ve sideswiped the huge dumpster that the contractor left in the driveway in preparation for an upcoming roof replacement.

We are creatures of habit, and when we introduce an unfamiliar thing (the dumpster) in a habit-laden situation (backing out of garage), problems often happen. How can you be more prepared for unexpected occurrences in all aspects of life?

Build in time. Pretend that you have to leave home ten minutes earlier than you really do. That will give you time to breathe and focus. You’ll be more likely to see that dumpster (or child or bike) and react appropriately. Set project deadlines similarly; “finish” the product, step away for a day and then tweak it with fresh eyes. You’ll be astounded at the errors you’ll find and improvements you can make when you’re not under the gun.

Add steps to your habit. Examine your habits for shortcuts. Instead of opening the garage door, getting in the car, fastening your seat belt and backing out, add a step. Scan behind you. It may help to put a sign in your car for a couple of weeks, until that new step becomes routine.

Realize that stuff happens, even to you. As the saying goes, most people think that accidents aren’t their fault and yet take personal responsibility for their hole-in-one on the golf course. Recognize that accidents happen to everyone – and most often we bear some culpability. Taking shortcuts, losing focus or being overconfident are signs that you think it couldn’t happen to you.

Consider what might happen and act accordingly. Think through all possible outcomes, not just what you expect and for which you are prepared. You may have spent countless hours driving safely while talking on your phone. However, what if it becomes a particularly intense conversation or a deer dashes across the road? Is it worth your (and others’) safety to talk on your phone while driving?

Being prepared for the unexpected not only promotes safety. These same strategies help you become more present, nimble and resilient in the face of change. You are off autopilot and fully engaged in the present task. What better way to manage the expected and unexpected issues faced by leaders today?

 

Need help exploring your habits and making change? Contact Humanergy.

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First meetings – 6 steps to success

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Whether you’re a consultant, freelancer, small business owner or a leader in your organization, you know how important it is to have a successful first meeting with a prospect, client or other key people. The old saying is true. You don’t get a second chance to make a good first impression. Even those of us who are experienced at “first meetings” could benefit from a refresher on how to start a new relationship on the right foot.

Do your homework. Before the meeting, gain as much information as you can on the person, his organization and the issues that he may be facing. This doesn’t mean that you’ll go in to the meeting with full knowledge. It simply eliminates a lot of the background sharing, so that you can get to the substance of the meeting more quickly.

Get there early. This may seem like First Meeting 101, but how many times have you started a meeting with unnecessary anxiety due to arriving just in the nick of time? Plan for the worst – extreme traffic, bad directions and problems with parking. Better to arrive too early than to arrive frazzled.

Ask good questions. Plan ahead so that you are prepared with a set of questions AND be flexible enough to adapt and add questions along the way. You should walk away from the meeting more informed not only about the facts, but about the other person’s purpose and goals.

Listen well and restate. Resist the urge to plan your response. Put all of your energy into hearing what the other person is saying. Once you feel you understand, paraphrase key points to make sure you really got it. “What I’m hearing is that your main concern is around employee engagement, specifically people not feeling comfortable making decisions that impact the customer experience.” Remember that the goal is not to impress the other person, but to gain knowledge. “Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent” (Dalai Lama).

Take notes. Your memory is not perfect. Make sure that you note enough of the details to capture the vital points. In order to listen completely, you don’t have to take notes while the other person talks. Say, “Let me just jot a few notes to myself to ensure that I get this right.” The other person will appreciate your respect and desire to capture the details.

Give value. After the meeting, give thanks and a little more. Email an article about an issue that she mentioned. Give her a contact that might help her solve a problem that you cannot address. “A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed” (Henrik Ibsen).

First meetings can be stressful. They can also be enjoyable opportunities to get to know others and make valuable connections. The key is to plan enough so that you can relax and be fully engaged in the moment. This focused-yet-relaxed approach sets you up to make a great first impression that may lead to a long and valuable relationship.

 

Need help prepping for a key meeting? Contact Humanergy.

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You get what you schedule

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I am great at making to-do lists. Right now I have a paper list at my office, one in Outlook tasks, and two or three on scraps of paper at home, including one that’s buried in a pile of bills and paperwork that needs filing.

No surprise – my “system” is clearly not working. As my colleague David Wheatley says, you get what you schedule. He recommends that you eliminate to-do lists and just put it on the schedule.

Most people use some form of a web-based calendar, but this system works on a pencil-and-paper version too. Rather than collect multiple, independent lists that can go missing, assign tasks to time on your calendar. If you don’t do it during the allotted time, move it to a different slot.

David uses Google calendar creatively to make sure he focuses on his most important work. He starts each day with a number of calls and other work populated in the “wee hours” on his calendar. Each morning, he drags each task from it’s 2:00 a.m. holding spot into an available slot during the day. In this way, he knows what he wants to accomplish and when he will do it.

Scheduling your to-dos creates the expectation that things will get done at a certain time – a great improvement over the “do-this-maybe-sometime” lists I have been creating (and losing). Scheduling also has a built-in feedback mechanism. If you keep moving that task, is it something you’re really committed to do?

Need help with tackling the work that really needs to be done? Contact Humanergy.

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Is it worth coaching someone in job jeopardy?

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Coaching is a substantial investment that is generally offered to high potential leaders. So when is it worth the cost to coach someone who is in job jeopardy?

Whether you hire a coach or do the work with internal resources, coaching is not to be entered into lightly. While it is generally best to focus scarce resources on top performers, there are circumstances where coaching those in job jeopardy pays off.

The number one rule of thumb is to focus on performers with a single derailer that can be fixed. (Think of the person who continually falls over. Teach him to tie his shoes, and the problem is solved.)

Examples of fixable derailers that warrant an investment in coaching:

  • Having a hard time adjusting to a recent change in the organization
  • Difficulty dealing with a particular type of person or situation
  • A bad habit that the person is committed to changing

While overcoming a potentially fatal flaw is difficult, Joe Folkman advises several steps in his recent blog post, including acceptance, gaining a better understanding the issue and creating a plan for improvement. A coach can be a valuable resource at each of the steps outlined by Folkman.

Why go to the trouble to coach any struggling employee? First, it is absolutely cost-effective to retain your people when you consider the time and money involved in the termination and hiring processes. The organization also retains their knowledge, experience and connections with others. And the best outcome is you stand to gain an exceptionally dedicated, motivated employee who appreciates the investment. 

 

Need to focus your coaching resources? Contact Humanergy.

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Three steps to selling anything

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We recently had a fascinating team discussion about business development. Experts say that the vast majority of successful sales conversations involve the buyer talking more than the seller. (No wonder we are turned off by the fast-talking used car salesperson!)

Whether you’re selling a product, service or idea, the most important job of the seller is to listen. You will gain valuable insight about the buyer, but only if you are fully listening (not planning your next comment).

The next priority is asking powerful questions in order to understand the reality of the potential customer.“How is production affected when this machine breaks down?”

Finally, summarize your understanding to make sure that what you heard is really what the other person said. Do not assume that you get it. Periodically sum it up in your own words. “What I heard was you have a problem with the amount of resources this solution will require.”

One potential pitfall is asking questions in order to persuade, not to understand. Questions with an ulterior motive feel manipulative to the listener and can be a barrier in any conversation. When seeking to influence, whether you’re selling a service or an idea, ask honest and sincere questions.

Excellent tips for asking questions (stay in a state of curiosity to sort out where people are coming from) and listening (eliminate judgmental self-conversation, such as “They’re just not getting it!”) are found in Kevin Cashman’s blog on Fast Company.

You have listened, asked questions and ensured that you have mutual understanding. Now is the time to offer your solution. “The wise man puts himself last and finds himself first” (Lao Tsu).

 

Want to be a whiz at selling your big idea? Contact Humanergy.

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