Father’s Day is around the corner, and it’s only fitting that we pay a tribute to dads. (You may remember our leadership lessons from Mom in honor of Mother’s Day 2010.) Here are just a few of the lessons imparted by the way my dad has always loved and nurtured his family:
There are many ways to make a family. When my dad married my mom, she had 3 young children (one was me!) from a previous marriage. I can only imagine how many people told him, “You are nuts!” From the very beginning, my dad showered us with acceptance and love. We never questioned that he was, in every way that mattered, our father. Leadership wisdom: If you are leading a team or organization, it doesn’t matter how it came to be yours – through promotion, downsizing, merger or whatever. Those people deserve nothing less than your total commitment.
Model the behaviors you wish to see. No matter how frustrated my dad was, he never degraded us in any way. Sure, he yelled at us sometimes, but he never called us names or treated us less than respectfully. That choice paid him dividends as we became teens who tested the boundaries. With rare exception, we didn’t verbally abuse our parents (at least where they could hear us). Leadership lesson: It’s your job to “be the change you wish to see in the world,” to quote Gandhi. If you want your employees to respect you, start with treating them respectfully, no matter how frustrated you may be.
Sacrifice for others. My dad often worked 3 jobs in order to be able to pay the bills and ensure that birthdays and Christmases were special. He slept little and rarely had time to see friends or just relax. Leadership wisdom: Your sacrifice might entail taking a pay cut to keep employees or simply standing up for people when they need to be defended. Removing organizational or external barriers so that people can achieve their life’s purpose means more than you know to your people. They will repay you with loyalty, hard work and their own sacrifices that ensure the organization’s success.
Be there. My dad was deployed to Southeast Asia during the early years of the Vietnam war. That was a tough time for all of us, and my father decided not to re-enlist; he therefore had to forgo the re-enlistment bonus that would have made our lives more comfortable. He knew that being stateside with us was far more important than material things. Throughout my life, my dad’s been present and available, but not hovering. Leadership wisdom: Be available to your people, understand their hopes and challenges and delegate meaningful work in the right way. Distance should not be a barrier; use videoconferencing and other technology to stay connected.
Be vulnerable. We grew up without much money, so when it came time for me to go to college, it seemed I’d only be able to afford a community college. My dad felt horrible when I fell in love with a small, private and very costly university. When I received my acceptance letter and found that I was awarded an academic and need-based full ride, my dad said nothing and walked outside. I thought he might be mad, but instead he was weeping tears of joy. He was thrilled to know that I could realize a dream, in spite of our financial circumstances. Leadership wisdom: You might not want to burst into tears, but showing your softer side with your team is a powerful act of modeling. You are a human being with frustrations, faults and trepidations, and it’s perfectly fine to share those with others and seek support.
Happy Father’s Day to all dads, and most especially to my Dad. Instead of soap-on-a-rope or a popsicle stick frame, this year I give you my heartfelt thanks for the leadership lessons that you and Mom have always effortlessly taught.
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Photo is of my dad (on right) and my son, Ryan, who was almost 18 at the time.
I want to thank you for this post. The things that you mention are some of my firm beliefs.
It is sad that some people in leadership roles don’t understand how important and impactful they can be in people’s lives. Leaders can help people reach their full potential or they can destroy them. Leaders should also understand that we shouldn’t focus solely on short-term goals. We have to understand the long-term effect this will have on the people in the organization. An analogy I will use is, you cannot run a marathon every day.
Concerning sacrifice, I couldn’t agree with you more that sometimes we will have setbacks in life that will challenge our core beliefs. During these situations, it important to show the people reporting to you that your beliefs are firm and won’t change with the wind. Your true leadership abilities will come out when dealing with issues or when in crisis mode. The employees will never forget how you handled yourself in these situations. They will lose faith and trust in you or they will increase their belief in you and your abilities, following you wherever you go. I will take the latter ALWAYS!
Thank you again and Happy Father’s day,
JGB
Touching, A-N-D, Very Well Written.
Good Job.
Role models and family analogies. Very useful insights.
Agree with Gary’s observation.
What this does for me is to raise questions about the opportunities for learning and acquiring such wisdom in the current and future environment. Without being too pessimistic, in many cases the environment is not very conducive to producing and receiving such wisdom. The people we work with are often not from our neighbourhood, town, city or even country. They come from many different backgrounds and cultures with differing values and beliefs. They tend not to stay around for any length of time. They are often constantly looking around for other opportunities. Communication can be difficult, particularly when it is increasingly through technology. Loyalty and commitment can be transitory. They tend to have wide-ranging interests outside the work environment which compete for their attention and intellectual energy. The latter may indeed be an asset for the business as it can lead to the provision of new ideas and different experiences which can enhance performance and invigorate others in the workplace. However, it is difficult for those involved in a Project initiated by someone who simply leaves when another opportunity arises. The strength of any organisation is reflected in its ability to cope with change. One question, therefore, is how do we use the wisdom described above to make that the reality in a changing world.